Columnists
The right kind of stuff
Some would claim this column has been obsessed with Royalty over the past few weeks, and I guess they might have a point. So let’s move on to the sub-royal department and look at the appointment of a new Governor General.
Prime Minister Trudeau visited the Queen at her official Scottish residence last week, amid rumours he was presenting his choice for her approval. Indeed, the incumbent has already overstayed his original tenure (but not his welcome) by two years. So by the time you read this, news of the appointment may well have become public.
What criteria will Mr. Trudeau use to choose the nominee? Only a complete cynic would think he would appoint someone in order to shed some political baggage, settle a favour owed, or sideline a rival. He is much more likely to employ nobler criteria. Perhaps he will make it on the basis of ‘representativeness.’ But representative of what? Francophone and anglophone appointees have taken turns over the past few decades, but the pattern is not etched in stone. Women and men have both been appointed, but not in strict sequence. Trudeau may tell his people to break the mould and find him a person to whom both official languages represent a challenge and who does not identify with either traditional gender—as well as being under 40, left-handed and a non-smoker. Who knows what his criteria are? And if we’re casting about for criteria, what about choosing a Governor General who represents homelessness? It would reduce the problem by at least one person.
But choosing a person based on what he or she represents demeans both the office and the appointee. I know I wouldn’t like it if I were appointed and people said “oh, he’s just there because he’s an immigrant, resides in Prince Edward County, and shook hands with a woman who shook hands with the Prince of Wales.” I’d sooner be appointed for who I am, not what I am. More than that, the job itself carries certain responsibilities. It’s not enough to be ‘representative’: a serious candidate must have the right kind of stuff to perform well in the job.
What kind of stuff would you have to possess? You would have to be polite, personable, down to earth and quick on your feet. You would have to enjoy the rituals of office —riding in an open horse-drawn carriage on a freezing winter day to turn on the festive lights on Parliament Hill, cutting ribbons so often you develop carpal tunnel syndrome, making earnest speeches that demonstrate your ability to stay politically neutral, plastering your face with a winning smile for pictures with people you have never met, hosting state dinners to honour ruthless dictators, inspecting troops who are contracted to guard your feet, and so on.
You and family would also have to be prepared to live in a publicly funded fishbowl, on a taxable salary of $290,600. And, of course, your personal history would have to be free of any blemishes: Imagine the indignity of being forced to resign because an investigative report found you had cheated at marbles in grade three and kept silent about it ever since. Finally, a working knowledge of Canadian political and constitutional history might be handy: you can’t expect an ignoramus to waltz in and become head of state of a major North American country.
But if showing you have the right kind of stuff is so important, why should Mr. Trudeau limit his choice to someone who also meets some artificial ‘representativeness’ criteria? Why not throw the position open to the wide swath of ordinary Canadians who can show they have that stuff? Mr. Trudeau opened up Senate vacancies in this way. So he gets a quarter million letters of application! So his staff have to burn the midnight oil winnowing them down to a hundred! So the Prime Minister ends up picking the winner at random from the shortlist! Where’s the harm? It sounds like democracy at work to me. The risk is all on the upside.
Opening the position to applicants might show there is a public/private partnership opportunity waiting to be mined. What manufacturer of breakfast cereal would not give its eyeteeth for the placement of a Governor Generalship application form on the back of its box (in both official languages, of course)? What maker of bathsoap could resist becoming the lead sponsor of a prime time television special to reveal the identity of the winner?
I suppose you could argue that if Mr. Trudeau is set on the democracy angle, he could take a poll and abide by the results. But then, your average Ethel Snodgrasses and Joseph Ordinaires would stand little chance against your more widely known Christine Sinclairs and Peter Mansbridges. And you risk encountering the “Boaty McBoatface” problem, wherein a jokester’s suggestion won a British contest to name a new scientific research ship. (The government declined to accept the result and named the vessel after Sir David Attenborough instead). In Canada, you may end up with a tidal wave supporting Don Cherry. While there may be some negatives to his selection, on the plus side, the incandescence of his suits would certainly help reduce the lighting bills at Rideau Hall.
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