Real time

All of our children are grown and have left the nest. We are empty nesters. It wasn’t an easy job, raising our kids. I can’t imagine how difficult it was for my parents, raising seven kids and one young-adult auntie. So, on the subject of raising kids, LOML and I weren’t experts. We didn’t follow step-by-step instructions from books or go to child psychology lectures. We just did what we thought was right. We insisted on breakfast and dinner—all hands on deck and no interruptions from the television or telephone. Sometimes we screwed up and sometimes we surprised ourselves. My point? Well, my point is now it’s a much different world out there. Kids know a whole lot more about sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll than we ever did. Go on, think about it.

If you’re about my age—I was a teenager in the sixties—perhaps your parents worried about the same things that caused sleepless nights and grey hair for sixties parents—drinking, driving too fast, driving without a licence, marijuana, more booze, more pot, teenage pregnancy, hanging around with the wrong bunch, playing the vinyl too loudly, eating too much junk food and dropping out of school. I know these things put my parents on edge because my siblings and I heard about them during the evening dinner discussions or while being dressed down after getting caught coming home too late. Don’t get me wrong, my parents were pretty awesome people and they knew what we were up to—most of the time. Then, like now, most of the time was the problem. Like any teenager worth their salt, we knew what we had to do to keep the parental units in the dark about some of our shenanigans. It’s in the gap between knowing what you think the kids are up to and what the kids are actually doing that problems crop up.

As I said, it is a very different world for kids, these days. Marijuana is almost the least of a parent’s worries. Kids have access to so much more information than we had and are less afraid of experimenting. In earlier times, we passed hand-written notes in class about unchaperoned parties, late night plans and substance sources. Sometimes the note never got as far as the next kid before it was intercepted by the teacher.

Notes don’t get passed anymore. There isn’t really a chance of a parent or teacher running interference. It’s all online now. If the online version of what to use, how to use it, where to buy it, where it’s happening or how to make it isn’t good enough, there’s always YouTube. And, I’m not talking about growing medicinals amongst your mom’s tomato plants, either.

Kids don’t have to wait to get home to go online—most have smartphones and tablets as close as their pocket, purse or backpack. The smartphones and tablets are with them around the clock. Kids never have downtime— they’re always in touch, up-to-speed and passing it along.

You and I (the old farts) are using the internet to get a good price for the next holiday in Vegas, check a newsfeed, keep in touch with family and friends or play a brain-game. The kids are Googling homework answers, texting, sexting, chatting, InstaGram- ing, updating social media pages, information gathering, streaming movies and music. And kids are online all the time. In touch 24/7. It’s time to get real with the kids and ourselves. It’s time to make an appointment, sync your calendars to sit down and listen to the kids. Put the smartphones and tablets away for an hour. Who knows, we could all learn something about each other in person. No selfies allowed.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca