Big sustainable Mac

Things are sure changing out there in fast food land.

Just the other day, McDonald’s Restaurants of Canada Limited announced that it was going to spend about $200,000 per restaurant on upgrades, and enlarge its work force by about 30 per cent. Says John Betts, the company president, “We want our guests to walk in and be wowed by an experience that’s modern and personalized, but still the McDonald’s they know and love.”

So how is it going to do that? Well, the customer will be welcomed in, and goodbyed out, by staff known as Guest Experience Leaders. But the heart of the matter seems to entail a new Self-Order Kiosk that allows the customer to customize his or her burger. According to the company’s recent press release, “The new Create Your Taste menu lets guests build their own premium burger (the trademarked “Mighty Angus”) in five simple steps. Guests can choose from nearly 30 options including five types of cheese, 12 toppings, two buns, a lettuce wrap and nine sauces.” Food ordered in this manner will be brought to the customer directly by “dedicated waitstaff.” (Every employee is always dedicated to the job: these employees’ work will be dedicated to waitstaffing).

Five simple steps, eh? Is that simple, as in ‘simple as an automated parking lot pay machine’? I can just see me in the grip of a hamburger craving trying desperately to make it work and making a public spectacle of myself (the “modern” experience) at least until one of the Guest Experience Leaders comes over with the ostensible intention of putting me out of my misery but with the net result of enhancing my shame (the “personalized” experience).

McDonald’s no doubt hopes that patrons who order from a machine and pay with a piece of plastic will be somewhat less restrained and more self-indulgent in ordering that Mighty Angus burger with three types of cheese and seven toppings (hold the lettuce wrap, but throw in a large fries and a milkshake). The only problem is that while you will no longer have to demonstrate your lack of hamburger discipline to the counterstaff, it will be known to the dedicated waitstaff, who, if they want to keep their jobs, are going to have to refrain from yelling out “Who ordered the toppings with a side of Mighty Angus burger?”, or from making smirky eye contact with a look that says “Are you related to Falstaff?”

It’s not every restaurant that will feature the new Self- Order Kiosks, however; and I assume that even in the ones that do, it will be possible to bypass the Guest Experience Leader and go directly to the counter to purchase a standard issue, pre-toppinged Big Mac.

Maybe McDonald’s is trying to have it both ways, at least until it can sense which way the wind is blowing. Is a hamburger going to be a luxury item that a consumer will be willing to pay for, or will it remain an industrial grade product that satisfies a basic craving at a low price? Not, as Jerry Seinfeld used to put it, that there is anything wrong with either alternative.

What’s next for McDonald’s? A pop steward? A tasting menu? How are competitors going to keep pace? Will Wendy’s introduce maître d’s? Will Harveys counter with waiters in tuxes? McDonald’s itself has already laid out a bit of a road map. Under the heading “Focus on Food Quality,” the company states “The next chapter will also advance McDonald’s sustainability and Canadian sourcing initiatives.” For example, the company had announced back in September that it was moving to obtain its eggs from free-run sources in Canada over the next 10 years. And then it announced that it had developed guidelines for the production and supply of sustainable beef from Canada.

But perhaps the biggest challenge to McDonald’s ingenuity comes not from its existing competitors, but from plant-based meat substitutes. The former tofu burgers and tofu dogs are, according to a recent New York Times article, about to be superceded by next-generation foods that taste much more like real meat. “Buyers,” says Nicholas Kristof, “won’t just be vegans, but also carnivores simply looking for healthy, sustainable, cheap food…If the alternatives to meat are tasty, healthier, cheaper, better for the environment and pose fewer ethical challenges, the result may be a revolution in the human diet.”

However, I think McDonald’s is smart enough to leave a few of its free-range eggs in this basket too. Maybe the advertisements for the ‘McVeggie’ or the ‘Big Grass’ or the ‘McFooledYa’ are already in development. Maybe I should grab both a Mighty Angus and a Big Mac before it’s too late—from the counter, not the Self-Order Kiosk.

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca