Columnists
What they got for Xmas
I hope you survived the Christmas deluge. Let’s see what various personalities around the world got for Xmas. It turns out all of them got real books with real titles.
Justin Trudeau. Costume Through the Ages: Over 1400 Illustrations. Perhaps this will satisfy his urge to dress up.
Doug Ford. Fifty Places to Camp Before You Die. I just hope that delivery of that camper van is not unduly delayed.
Mike Harper. Party of One: Stephen Harper and Canada’s Radical Makeover, by Michael Harris. Perhaps he’s going to have to change his name.
Steve Ferguson. Herding Cats: A Primer for Programmers Who Lead Programmers. Maybe comparing a motley crew of councillors to felines is unfair to felines.
Donald Trump. The Last Plea Bargain. It may be prudent to prepare for the inevitable.
Julie Payette. Entertaining is Fun: How to be a Popular Hostess. Time for the GG to get into some serious chatelaining.
Vladimir Putin. Don’t Mess with Me: Who Do You Think You Are. An unequivocal book for a man without a doubt about his own authority.
James Mattis (and John Kelly and Rex Tillerson and many others). My Happy Days in Hell. Maybe the adjective isn’t quite appropriate.
Bill Cosby. The Magic of JELL-O: 100 All-Time Favourite Recipes. He’s got to have something to pass the time.
Rachel Notley. Landlocked. Maybe Doris Lessing has suggested a way for Alberta to move its oil.
Andrew Scheer. Wipe that Smirk off Your Face. A book on the subject of irony that may also provide some useful campaigning tips.
Jagmeet Singh. Clothes Really Do Make the Man: My Life as a Fashion Victim. It’s good to know he has another trade to ply apart from leading a political party.
Todd Smith. My man Jeeves.Just like Jeeves, often seen kowtowing to Rob Ford; but Jeeves was a lot smarter than Bertie Wooster, so it seems like a good fit.
Brett Kavanaugh. The Book of the Party Animal: A Champion’s Guide to Party Skills, Party Fouls, Pranks, and Mayhem. Not that he needs it where he is; or at least, I hope he doesn’t.
Corey Engelsdorfer. The Chief: The Life of William Randolph Hearst. Well, a man has to dream, doesn’t he?
Ron Taverner. The Peter Principle. You rise to, and then above, your level of competence.
Chrystia Freeland. Getting Past No: Negotiating With Difficult People. She’s probably already read this; or if not, she could write it herself.
Kim Jong Un. Nobody Understands Me!: Appreciating Teenagers and Adolescence. He can play the role of either the teenager or the person trying to understand him.
Theresa May. Hell Riders: the Truth About the Charge of the Light Brigade. If you think you might be on a doomed campaign, you might as well soak up the lessons of the past.
Rick Conroy. Tilting at Windmills. Maybe this will be the year someone pays attention to you.
Happy Holiday Reading, folks!
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