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Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose
By the time this column hits the newsstand it’ll be half-past IWD. I was thirty-something when I first became aware of Women’s Day. A workplace colleague asked me if I’d be interested in being part of a committee to address women’s issues in the workplace. I assumed the biggest issue would be having an operational sanitary napkin dispenser in the women’s washrooms or better lighting over the sinks. Thank goodness I didn’t let my usual lack of internal dialogue “out me” on my ignorance. Don’t get me wrong, I was more than aware of inequities and inequalities in the workplace, and almost always very vocal about them. On many occasions, older female co-workers suggested I shouldn’t poke the Papa bear. One day, when I was in a workplace strategy meeting, the chair of the company hinted, while looking directly at me, it was coffee time. Without saying so, he assumed I should go and fetch for my peers. I knew my answer had to be “I don’t drink coffee. Thank you so much for asking.” I didn’t win any prizes for my response, but I didn’t make the coffee run, either. In the sixties I worked for a huge pharmaceutical corporation. Many of their workplace policies were heavily slanted toward controlling what the female workforce could, or couldn’t, do while under the employer’s roof. Most of those edicts just didn’t sit well with me. When I refused a “company physical” because I knew they were looking to put an insurance policy on my carcass, I was hauled down to HR for a going over. I never gave in, and if they got an insurance policy on moi it was without that medical. I’d been raised by a couple of very liberal-minded people. I didn’t like crap covered in a thin candy coating.
For the most part, a lot of things have changed since the sixties. I can’t imagine an employer telling a woman she had to wear a dress or skirt, or no “bare legs” and to ensure her arms were covered while in the workplace. Nor can I imagine an employer telling a woman she was passed over for a job because a man had applied and he had a family to support. However, I know women are still passed over for jobs and/or promotions because they aren’t men, and some employers still see “female” as a deficit in the workplace. And I can still imagine a woman being treated poorly because of the way she dresses, mostly by men in the workplace. I can imagine women still being sexually harassed in the workplace. Unfortunately, this mentality to control women hasn’t changed much. Women are still targeted for abuse (sexual, financial, verbal, physical, etc.) even in this day and age. Yes, women have the law, and the Bill of Rights, on their side, but women are less likely to be believed when they report abuse or violations, simply because they are women—plus women know the hoops they’d have to jump through to prove their point.
Of course, this isn’t just about the workplace. More than a quarter of all violent crime is considered family/domestic violence. Close to 70 per cent of family violence victims are women and girls. Fewer than one in five women who are abused by their spouse/partner reported the abuse to the police. One of the biggest reasons for the underreporting is the stigma associated with family violence. The next reasons for not reporting is women feel they will not be fairly heard or believed, and they fear repercussions from the abusive partner. We need to be more attentive, and receptive, to our female friends, our family and our neighbours. We have to be on the lookout for signs of abuse and neglect. Abusers are often charming and gregarious. They have a tendency to speak on behalf of the abused. Some signs a woman is a victim of abuse could include: nervousness, anxiety, can’t seem to relax, is worried about being home by a certain time, is distant when you try to communicate, will tell you nothing is wrong when something is clearly wrong, seems vulnerable or defeated, withdraws from friendships/social events/gatherings not held in her home, “shrinks” when partner is close by or goes overboard to make the abuser look good. We can’t stand back and be a part of the “What did she do to deserve that?” group. Educating ourselves, our children, our friends and our partners is key to change for the better.
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