Columnists
Comparing the Great with the Small
The feat of coming up with an approved vaccine for COVID-19 within a year after the pandemic was first declared reminds us just how capable we are of doing great things.
At the other end of the spectrum, however, are the trivial and banal things that persist in bothering us because they should, by comparison, have been fixed a long time ago—like the oft used example of our failure to cure the common cold. It’s comparing the great with the small. So let’s try a round of my new parlour game. The structure is: “How can they X, when they can’t even Y?” One player states the “X” proposition while another fills in the “Y.”
Here are some examples:
How can they land a rover on Mars when they can’t even make plastic garbage bags that don’t take ten minutes to open up in order to line a garbage pail?
How can they decode the molecular structure of the COVID-19 virus so definitively when they can’t even get people to respond to public health instructions?
How can they make freezers to keep vaccines stored at minus 70 degrees when they can’t even put a setting on my toaster that will toast my English muffin without burning it?
How can they make medical ventilators that save people with lung infections when they can’t even make a medical mask that doesn’t fog up my glasses?
But let’s not limit ourselves to pandemic matters:
How can they build a whole new subdivision in Trenton while over the same period they can’t even make a decision on the future of the Wellington corner store?
How can they use spit samples to find my ancestors when they can’t even prevent my sock from losing its mate in the laundry?
How can they market a computer that will send an email to New Zealand in three seconds, when they can’t even come up with a way to prevent idiots like me having to spend half an hour looking for their password to get the access needed to send the email in the first place?
How can they invent an upside down ketchup bottle that makes it easier to get the middle third of the ketchup out when they can’t even find a way of getting the last third out of the bottle, either way up?
How can they make wind turbines with a wingspan of 200 metres yet they can’t make an umbrella that will open into an average wind without breaking?
How can they use a laser to cut materials in thousandths of an inch thicknesses when they can’t even put a cutter on cling wrap boxes that doesn’t tear your piece to shreds—and give you an abrasion to boot?
How can they make a phone that will organize your whole life for you when they can’t even make a feature that finds you a sharp pencil when you need to take a message?
How can they say that Picton is as hip as Wellington when Picton can’t even sustain a Steadman’s store?
Actually, that last comment was perhaps a bit mean-spirited. The Toronto Star has written that Picton has been “somewhat overlooked” in the rush to embrace “fashionable and hip” Wellington and “quaint, delicious” Bloomfield. It calls Picton a “bustling, charming little town” that will “expand the County’s already substantial appeal.” Instead, let’s be gracious, and say to Picton “Welcome to the big leagues. Better late than never. You’ll get used to it after a while. If you need any help in being fashionable and hip, let us know and we’ll have our people contact your people— if it’s not keeping us too busy.”
They do make masks that will not fog up your glasses. If your glasses are fogging then you have an air leak obviuosly and your mask is not fitted properly around your nose. Worse, you could be spreading Covid because of this carelessness.