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Stop, Hesitate, Refuse
Well, I thought it wouldn’t come to this, but LOML and I have told close family members they are not welcome at our house because of their COVID-19 denial and their vaccine refusal. I did, originally, type “vaccine hesitancy”, but I don’t think they’re hesitant. They refuse to be vaccinated. The mom of the group said, rather sheepishly, “I think we had COVID-19 in December of 2019. We’re definitely immune.” When I asked if they’d been tested to see if, indeed, they’d had the virus, she told me she didn’t think those tests would prove anything. Sadly, we won’t be visiting them at their home, either. This is what it’s all come down to, this type pandemic response. Families are divided. Friends are being shut out. Work associates are being shunned.
While I certainly advocate making choices based upon your personal needs and expectations, I must qualify that by saying I’m speaking of informed choices. And the information should come from reliable, scientific sources—from people who know what they’re talking about. Those two adults do not believe there is a pandemic, yet said they’d had COVID-19. They do not believe fourteen and a half million people have died from COVID-19. They do not believe that one hundred and ninety four million people have been infected. In one conversation, they referred to us as “Sheeple”. For all I know, they may believe the earth is flat, but they do have cats and we know if the earth were flat the cats would have pushed them off. I know both adults have received all of the other vaccines in their fiftyplus years on this earth and yet, in the face of a deadly pandemic, they’ve dug their heels in and straight-out denied the problem. I refuse to argue with them and took a deep breath when I told them the in-person visits are done. I’m devastated by this outcome. I don’t know how they feel about this decision. Maybe they feel righteous. One of them told me God will protect them. Maybe they feel someday they’ll be vindicated. Maybe they think LOML and I will forget and accidentally visit at Christmastime. It won’t happen. Gifts will be mailed to them. Zoom or Skype will be the only gathering place we’ll tolerate.
I know I can’t make people change their minds. No matter how obvious it seems to me to say COVID-19 vaccine hesitancy keeps this virus in circulation longer and puts people who are vulnerable (like the immunocompromised, infants and the health compromised, etc.) there will be people who don’t see it this way. While LOML and I have had many difficult decisions to make over the years, deciding to have this conversation with our family members and setting those boundaries has been a tough pill to swallow, or a huge shot in the arm. We couldn’t visit them out-of-doors, distanced or in a masked get-together, it would be too difficult to keep our distance. They are family.
So, here we sit on Sunday the 25th of July, five months until Christmas Day and the unvaccinated will no longer be welcome in our physical, family circle. Not just unvaccinated family members, by the way. We have discussed the possibility of a negative COVID test followed by a distanced visit, but they refuse to be tested, insisting the tests aren’t reliable and could cause health problems. LOML and I decide to stick to the script. No negative test and/or no vaccine equals no inperson visits.
What we think of this couple is difficult to say. If anyone thinks a lack of formal education is a big factor in vaccine hesitancy/refusal, think again. We’ve made it clear they aren’t the only people who’ll we’ll be avoiding. They may have a really, really good reason for not getting vaccinated, other than saying they don’t believe there’s a pandemic. We’ve offered our reasons for being vaccinated and hope, one day, they will change their minds. I had said the thing I missed the most during the pandemic was my family and my friends. I really didn’t think it would come to this.
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