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Holiday stress
I, for one, can’t believe how quickly 2024 has passed. Didn’t I just complain about taking all of the lawn furniture out of the barn for warm weather gatherings, and not too long ago didn’t I whine about putting it all back? The same goes for the behemoth of a holiday tree. I feel as if I just sweated and grunted and shoved that sonof- a-birch into the storage room and now I am out of breath thinking about hauling its sorry aspen out of hiding again. There would have been a day when I’d be willing and able to do a whole lot of holiday prepping without asking for help. You could say I was one of those people who took pride in being independent—or stubborn. I simply don’t like to bother others. I was raised with an “I can do it by myself” attitude. My parents were like that. My siblings are like that. LOML is like that. Sometimes, it’s okay to just do things on your own and get it done without a debate or a second opinion. I understand how it works. But there are times when asking for help is going to be the best thing you can do for yourself.So, let’s talk about asking for help.
As the holiday season approaches, many of us will begin to feel the pressure all of those festive things. Like paying for “the things”, overindulging in too many sweet treats, too many tipsy eggnogs, or not getting enough sleep because we’re worrying about getting “the things” done. Correct me if I’m wrong, but not getting enough exercise and fresh air also adds to your stress. Raise your candy cane flavoured double-double if you can feel the pressure rising at this point in November! The holiday season should be a time to relax and enjoy what we’ve got and who’s nearby. But many of us will only think of what we don’t have or what we should have done. We don’t have enough perfectly decorated and cookies. We don’t have enough ice. We don’t have enough refreshments in the bevvie cabinet. We don’t have the magazine-photoshootworthy decor. We didn’t buy everything on the gift list, and we certainly won’t win the Martha Stewart Perfection in Gift Wrapping Award. While November is said to be the darkest month for people who suffer with mental health disorders, the month of December can certainly be the incubator for a complete loss of control. During the weeks and days approaching our holiday time, every single one of us will experience some kind of stress. For some of us, the stress will take over and our healthy balance will blow up the chimney.
What do I know about all of this stuff, you ask? Well, like a lot of you, I spent many, many years doing all of the stressful things. The one thing I never made time for was me. I didn’t go for walks. I didn’t skip the eggnogs. I ate far too many Hello Dollies (my biggest holiday indulgence). I believed everything had to be perfect and was very critical of my effort to make the holiday perfect. One day I realized I was in way over my head and said as much to our family. A very wise Child of Mine suggested the adults of the family should stop shopping for the grownups. And, at that point in time, our immediate family was made up of adults who had jobs and didn’t need the perfect gift because we/they had the resources to buy their own things. COM also pointed out the holiday season wasn’t about shopping, or baking, or drinking. The holidays were about getting together, sharing a meal, playing board games, watching corny movies, reading books, lots of laughs, and maybe a glass of something bubbly. Wise Child of Mine also suggested we incorporate the “If you want to give a gift you have to make that gift. If you didn’t make it, don’t give it.” Since 2004 the festive season has been a nicer time for all of us.
So, Festive People, don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it. But also, be the “help” if you can. Enjoy the weather, the movies, the books, the homemade cookies, the hand knitted socks, the handcrafted cards and each other. January is a long, cold month. Don’t face 2025 with a hangover of bills and other regrets from your stressful holiday season.
N.B. We do buy holiday gifts for the children in the family, but we use the rule: Something they want. Something they need. Something to wear. Something to read.
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