Columnists
Connections
I was all het-up to write about the Good Ole Summer Time. Really, I was. But, I’m not exactly into it right now. As a matter of fact, what I’m into right now has nothing whatsoever to do with heat, beach sand, barbecues, vacations or SPF 50. Don’t get me wrong; like a load of all y’all I’m totally happy to look that wet, cold spring in the eye and say, “Smell ya later, mold and mildew. Bring on the sunshine!” The thing is, it’s been a most remarkable time for me in spite of the weird weather. I say it’s been most remarkable because I’ve learned so much from so many people in this community and I didn’t have to turn in an essay, write an exam or defend a thesis or, for that matter, hand out money for tuition. I just got to hear, and learn, from people who want to be heard and who have valid concerns, heartfelt contributions to be made, and are looking for someone with whom they can share their experiences.
Late last year I heard from a person who is a Trump supporter. To be honest, I was a bit surprised at first because we have met and were on “nod and smile” terms. She wasn’t happy with my comments about DJT in the weeks leading up to his election. I was quite taken aback by her firm belief in him as a loving family man and a competent world leader. She sent a long, passionate email, which was forwarded to me. Now, in my younger years I would have fired-off an angrily worded response without giving a good gosh darn about the person she is and nor about the politician she so firmly believes in. In the olden days I would have felt a bit queasy about sending a fiery response, but I would have done so. However, I am learning and I let the contents of her email simmer a bit. It took a little while for me to unpack it all, and I remembered my opinion is right for me. I don’t need to change anyone’s mind, but I do have this glorious forum to speak my mind. And, I know from twenty-plus years of writing for the press there will be people who think I’m a completely wrong, wrong, wrong. As it turned out, she and I did have a very long back-andforth email conversation and we eventually, and respectfully, agreed to disagree. It didn’t hurt me to be a kinder, more understanding person. I don’t think she was offended when I said I couldn’t understand her perspective. Are we bosom buddies now? I don’t think so. Do I hide behind the potatoes when I see her in the grocery store? Nope, although I do wonder what we would say to each other. My point is, and I do have one, we really can agree to disagree – for the most part. And then?
Well, and then I received an email from a person I’d interviewed over twenty years ago for another publication. This email truly blew my flip-flops off. I wasn’t sure if this person was still alive. I know that sounds a bit gruesome, but he is a lung transplant recipient and everything I know about life expectancy in that regard is what I’ve read on Doctor Google. So, while my heart did a little flutter because I was so happy to hear from him, his messaged me because he thought I’d missed an opportunity to write about World Transplant Day. I hadn’t missed the opportunity, by the way. I just didn’t take advantage of it. The Pastor, in a roundabout way, suggested I could have used my position to let people know about transplant recipients and the organizations that help those survivors. I responded, but perhaps without the empathy the issue deserved. The gracious Pastor wrote again and I feel we may be getting closer to being on the same page. In the past, when confronted with a health and/or community related concern, I have asked readers to consider giving generously to various charities. The thing is, not everyone can afford to give generously. I have stopped being the “door knocker”. I started suggesting we could be kinder to our friends, family and neighbours. And we could give a hand-up when we couldn’t give a handout. This brings me to making connections by asking people how they are doing and helping out in any way we can.
As our community continues to expand and flourish, it may seem more difficult to make personal connections. But making a connection isn’t impossible. If you have something to share, please share. If you have a moment to chat, please chat. If you have hugs to give, please hug. If you see someone who needs a soft shoulder, please be. If all you have is a smile, smile away.
Written with thanks to Ian and to Nancy.
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