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Flip the script
BTW, I do have an opinion about what happened at Picton’s Tim Hortons a week or so ago. Yes I do.
For most of the years I when I was working full-time, many of the settings/workplaces I worked in were culturally diverse. In my early years of my career, I worked in Toronto for a multinational pharmaceutical company. A fair number of the people I worked with and spoke to, every day, were from countries not located in North America. Of course, there would be a lot of differences of personal opinion. And there were loads of light-bulb moments. Every day had a built-in learning curve if a person was looking to be enlightened. Later, when on assignments around Hastings and Prince Edward Counties I, once again, spent a lot of time with people who came from ethnically diverse backgrounds. Sometimes I’d hear what a colleague, coworker or client had to say about the state of their world compared to my known world and we’d all get a bit upset because our opinion, our take, wasn’t the same as all of the takes. But at breaks and lunch we had polite discussions. We had “unheated” disagreements. We smiled, sometimes smugly. We spoke our piece, sometimes loudly. We shared our beliefs and opinions. It’s not easy to be cool when you spend eight hours a day amongst people who have such wildly different views on the state of the world. But I learned a lot from all of those people who weren’t the same as me. Am I an expert on workplace diversity? Not even a little bit expert- y. My knowledge and experience in that area is rather petite. However, I am willing to keep learning.
So, where does that leave me with regard to the alleged green-card-arranged marriage- thingy that happened at Tim’s in Picton? At first it was a bit of a surprise, really. In the County, you say? Someone offered money to another person to marry a person so a person could become a Canadian citizen? Is that what I heard? Let’s all lighten up a bit. First of all, the amount of money on offer wouldn’t send me running to a bridal salon, nor would I have put a deposit on a reception venue. LOML would tell you I never was a cheap date. Heck, for that amount of money offered I probably wouldn’t even look up from my book or put my coffee down. Secondly, say the amount was more to my liking, would I just have to marry the person and not have to live with that person or would I have to live with that person, and perhaps the extended family, to prove my undying love to the authorities who would surely get involved? If part of the arrangement was to live with the family you’d better believe I’d take over those “Nuptial Negotiations”, and before the week was out I’d have a massive prenuptial agreement that would have been cobbled together by the family lawyer. Believe me, the first offer made at Tim’s would barely cover the legal fees. Did I mention payment? I did! I wouldn’t be onboard for anything less than ten times the original amount offered for the duration of the contract—in cash, in advance and in small bills. What’s my point? Well, I do have a point. I’m old. Realistically, no one is going to make that kind of offer to me, but as a self-described Marriage Maven I am way beyond losing my temper or foregoing a coffee because of a culturally interesting, albeit misguided, business offer. And let’s face it, marriage is business. It is unfortunate someone felt slighted by the thought of a Marriage of Convenience. It is also unfortunate that the whole schmozzle happened in the first place, but I’m fairly sure that’s how one set of my grandparents got together. I’m not too sure about money changing hands, but I do remember wedding jewellery being part of the dowry for my mom’s Mom. Heck, I wore the “family jewellery” to my own wedding.
Should the whole community stop going to Picton Timmie’s because someone did something another person found offensive, or weird? I don’t think so—but that’s me. Local people work at Tim’s. They deserve to make a living and by not going to Tim’s their jobs would be in jeopardy. The Timmie’s Corporation probably didn’t even think it would have been necessary to remind franchise owners not to put “offers of marriage for permanent residency” on the menu board or in the staff memos. I’ve heard the person who made the arranged marriage/marriage of convenience offer no longer has a job in Picton. The world this afternoon won’t the same as world you woke up to this morning. There will be wildly different ideas and experiences and notions out there. People who are desperate have a tendency to do things they might regret later. I know I’ve done some insane things in my time.
I say, go on, get a coffee at Tim’s. If someone throws a marriage proposal across the counter while waiting for your cup o’ Joe, get it in writing and know your worth.
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