Visiting and visitatin’

February 2013 started out okay but, as the days flew by, the month of hearts and love became more about heartbreaking than heartthrobs. And February 2013 reminded LOML and I that we really have only two kinds of clothing. The stuff we wear every day, essentially blue jeans and t-shirts, and the clothing we wear to funerals. The month of February, usually about sweethearts, chocolates, wines and romantic dinners, this year was just,plain sad.

I briefly lamented with my friend Jason how we longed for this February to be over and done as if March would be better. He was enduring family health issues and LOML and I were dealing with family matters and dragging ourselves from one funeral to another. February 2013 was a parade of reminiscences, hospital visits, late night phone calls, church services and eulogies followed by lukewarm tea, muddy coffee and “funeral sandwiches” dished up with sweet pickles, mini-bricks of tasteless cheese and wadded-up tissues.

If you’re my age or older, and many of you are, you’re nodding your head. Sixty plus, it seems, is more about the celebration of lives lived than living lives. We are more likely to meet up with our friends at a funeral service than at a pub for a pint although, many years ago, I did attend a life celebration in a bar where martinis were the order of the day. LOML and I are done with February’s brutal snow storms, treacherous sidewalks, funeral clothes and funeral lunches. February was a “lather, rinse and repeat” of death, snow storms, more snow and another funeral. In our travels from home to “parlour” to home, to drug store for a sympathy card and back to services and visitations, I’ve wondered why we all don’t spend more time together with our family and friends while we’re on this side of the freaking sod. Life is far too short for summations and eulogies, yet we need to have our say when all should have been said and done. We need just one more day to get together to cry and laugh and hug, don’t we?

So, now it’s March. We are still talking about going to someplace warm with “the brothers.” The reality is we’ll likely still be here on Ontari-ari-ari-OH, drinking coffee and reading about flight sales when the snow has long gone and it’s warm enough to move our coffee and WestJet flyers to the patio. We’re still talking about spending more time with our friends and our families while they’re still able to hold up their end of the conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a great eulogy, and I love the laughs about the fun times. I’ve even “written” a eulogy or two in my head anytime we’ve received “the call.” I even enjoy the photo boards and the slide shows with images of people opening presents, blowing out candles, diving into pristine lakes, mugging, vogueing, wearing wedding finery, paddling canoes and kissing babies. But, if I had my druthers I’d rather be visiting than attending a visitation.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca