Columnists
And, hee hee hee Holidays
Most of us have read the articles, or watched the lifestyle shows about how to survive the holidays. My dad once told me, “liquor helps”. But there’s got to be a better way. Right? You know I am. I know from personal experience that booze is just a Band- Aid. Oh sure, if you’re a bit tipsy, the wrapping seems easier, the stuffing seems tastier, the stocking stuffers seem to be more delightful. And as if by magic, the cookies turn out just right and the noise levels seem to be tolerable. And then? Well, two things happen. First of all, the wrapping isn’t really pretty, the stuffing tastes like mitten fluff, the cookies really are burnt and the stocking stuffers are age-inappropriate. The second thing that happens is the next morning, right? So here’s my list of how to cope without a needing an intervention on Boxing Day.
Put a list on your list. Make a whole bunch of lists. Buy a little notebook and use it for your lists. I’m a serious list maker at holiday time. If you don’t like waking up at 2 a.m. on Christmas morning wondering if you remembered to buy a lump of coal for your brother’s stocking, a list (more a checklist than anything else) will go a long way to make sure you don’t disappoint the brother or the LOYL on your list. But you really should have a list of people who are getting coal.
I don’t want to be the person who tells you how to run your holiday show, but make one of your lists “The Food List”, especially if you’re responsible for feeding a bunch of people during the holidays. For me, this list needs to be made on the first of December, but heck, the Wednesday before Christmas works. Put everything on that food list. Everything you think you’ll want to eat and serve on the holiday, including the chips, the turkey, the ham, the roast of something-else, the dips, the Brussels sprouts, the buns, the butter, the salted nuts, the back-up gravy (this is worth its weight in tinsel), the back-up stuffing and the back-up potatoes (mixes are what I’m talking about when I say “back-up”). Back-ups have helped me out of a tight spot (when I was tight), many times. I am “flavour challenged” by Sjogren’s disease, but I know the look on my daughter-in-law’s face when the lumpy gravy doesn’t taste quite right. So, back-up gravy it is—just in case. I even put breakfast things on the food list because the morning after Christmas I’m not interested in eating the cookies that Santa couldn’t stomach the night before.
Make a list of things other people can do for you, just in case someone asks if you need help. Don’t be afraid to share the fun with an eager, or evil, elf. I wasn’t very good at taking people up on their offers of assistance in the past, but now I’m all about letting folks, “Bring it, bake it, clean it, wrap it, taste it or baste it.”
Make a list of the people on the receiving end of your gift making and gift giving. This list I don’t sweat. We don’t really “do” gift giving in the conventional sense. Santa brings things to the little kids in our lives and we have a Santa List. But sometimes it’s nice to have a gift for the neighbours if they’re the type to bring a little something your way. Be thoughtful and shop locally, if you can. I’m not suggesting you buy an armload of prewrapped liquorice Allsorts, I am suggesting there’s a whole lot of thoughtful things you could have on-hand for emergencies. Make a list of where to get the best deals. Check your list, frequently. Remember to take your list(s) with you whenever you go out, else why bother making a list? Again, make your shopping list a local retailers list, wherever possible. And, put something on the list just for you. Time to be nice to yourself. Lists haven’t failed me. They’ve been my lifesaver for years.
Finally, for some people, it’s just a good idea to crawl into bed, cover up your head and go back to sleep. Set the alarm for the day after the day after the holidays and take advantage of the sales. Act like nothing happened. Chances are no one will even notice. See you in 2019, I’m going to pour a drink and head to bed.
Comments (0)