Anyone for a game of…

I had better confess right off the bat that I don’t own a smartphone and have never been into playing electronic video games on any device. So that might colour what follows.

What had caught my eye was a short article in a recent edition of the Sunday New York Times entitled “Monopoly Loosens Grip on Traditional Rules.” The thrust was that the barons of the famous board game were going to put out a special ‘house rules’ edition.

Now that is a bit of a conceptual stretch. There are official rules (meaning the kind made up by the owner of the franchise) and house rules (meaning the kind I and my consensual colleagues make up to vary the official rules in games played in the privacy of our own basement). So to put out an official house rules edition seems a bit oxymoronic.

But no, it’s the New York Times and it must be correct. The official rules will not change. Instead, 10 common house rules have been posted on the game’s Facebook page. A version with five authorized house rules chosen from that shortlist will then be published this fall. Those who are more comfortable following the official dictates of the rulebook will then be able to bask in the frisson of excitement that comes from deviating from the prescribed path just a little bit. Imagine, collecting $500 instead of $200 for passing Go! Legally!

I don’t know about you, but my memories of playing Monopoly are that the game was always fun for the first 20 minutes or so, when the properties were up for grabs; while the rest of the game dragged out over the next hour and a half or so to an inevitable conclusion. If, as was usually the case, my brother or some other scoundrel happened to be lucky with the roll of the dice, the denouement of the game would be characterized by some immature display of false superiority guaranteed to infuriate me. On the rare occasions when my skills would prevail, I remember the games flying by and ending with a gracious display of modesty and sportsmanship by me as the winner of the epic battle, combined with an unfortunate churlishness on the part of the losers. I’m not sure how many rule changes can change those facts about human nature, much as it might, with the exception of me, need to be improved upon.

In a world of Fruit Ninja and Candy Crush, the oldfashioned board game must appear exceedingly dull. So it is perhaps not surprising that we have on offer not just rule changes but what seem like countless versions of Monopoly—the WWE and Transformers editions being just recent examples.

Of course, it’s not just Monopoly that’s getting this kind of expanded treatment. Scrabble now has a special Onyx edition with an “elegant rotating board and a sleek, updated style with black and silver accents,” retailing on Amazon.com for a mere $229.99. Or perhaps you might prefer a pink edition that will help support the fight against breast cancer. And it has had its share of rule controversies, with a foofaraw back in 2010 about how many proper names were working their way into the official Scrabble dictionary and a kerfuffle last year about a fellow who had run everything through his computer and concluded that the x and z tiles should be downgraded in value while g and u should each receive a boost.

Even my old friend Colonel Mustard and his buddies Miss Scarlett, Professor Plum, the rope and the conservatory have gotten in on the action, with an expansion in the available rooms and weapons on offer, and special Alfred Hitchccok and Simpsons editions available. Next thing you know, they’ll be allowing multiparty, multi-weapon conspiracies onto the murder rap sheet in an attempt to keep the rules interesting.

Not that I really needed to know this, but how do board games rank? According to familyeducation.com, Scrabble is the best, Clue is second and Monopoly is a distant number eight. It receives only a lukewarm endorsement: “no game is better suited to the budding capitalist than this classic real estate game.” It barely beats out Twister, although if memory serves—and I shudder to think of it—I would hardly call being squashed in a compromising position under my 300-pound Uncle Fred each Christmastime a board game. However, according to ranker.com, Monopoly should be ranked as the third most popular board game, behind only chess and Scrabble; so what do parenting websites know?

Rank them as you will, it seems, unscientifically, to me that board games (including Monopoly) retain their popularity even though they may be resorting to more and more gimmicks to do so. And that, I think, is for the simple reason that they offer an opportunity for face to face human interaction. Take that, Angry Birds! Anyone for a game of Balderdash?

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca