Columnists
As luck would have it
I do want to mention him— but only because I’m fascinated by his style and his narcissism. Trump. Oh, I’m so happy that my Curcio and Durning families picked Canada over the U.S. when they arrived in the early part of last century. I can’t imagine having to choose between the rock and the hard place.
So what’s nagging me these days? Well, every once in a while I say something that seems to be (at least to me) intelligent at the time but turns out to be fuel for someone’s fire. Hard to believe, right? I know. A few months ago, when the alleged sexual assault took place in Picton, I said all women need to protect themselves. I meant it the way I said it. Women, when they’re out clubbing or partying, need to be aware of their surroundings. And, I said, women need to make sure they don’t find themselves alone in a situation that could potentially end in an assault. I meant that, too. I don’t like that we live in a world where women are victimized, but we do live in that world. After saying that, I was accused of being a person who didn’t understand the struggle of being accepted as an equal. I was accused of being a person who didn’t understand that women shouldn’t have to fight every step of their way. But, we did fight when I was a young woman—and we do now. Women are still seen as the reason that women are assaulted. Women are still seen as less than equal to men. Women are constantly being asked to measure up, grow a pair, prove yourself, suck it up and shut up. And, in the day of equality and enlightenment, are women any better off than they were in our grandmothers’ or mothers’ day? Marginally. We still have to deal with idiots who think that woman dress for rape. We still live in a time when women are expected to put out to get in. We are still “girls”. We aren’t smart enough. We aren’t good enough. We aren’t equal enough.
So, I stand by my original statements about women taking care of themselves. At night, try not to be alone. Women need to be aware of their surroundings when they aren’t in their own homes. Women need to develop and trust their gut instincts—their sixth sense. Women need to able to defend themselves physically—and I’m not talking about knowing how to break a stack of bricks in half. If women take part in a selfdefence program, that program should include simulated assaults. Women need to know that their first line of defence is to escape. Escaping is good. In the case of a potential assault, women don’t have to stick around to prove themselves or try self-defence techniques. Get the H E double hockey sticks out as soon as the opportunity presents. If you can’t get away, women need to know they have the right to fight—to scream, shout, bite, kick, punch, spit and thrash! Don’t worry about your belongings, just get free. If you’re in your car alone, remember to keep your windows closed and doors locked when you stop. Most carjackings take place at intersections. Travelling and staying in the best hotel is no guarantee that you won’t be the victim of a violent crime. Keep your room door closed and locked. Don’t open your door to anyone unless you are absolutely sure you know who it is.
I have travelled alone, mostly for work. I had a very close call with two men who identified as Metro Toronto Police Officers. One of them rolled the window down and asked if I was lost. I said I wasn’t. They may have been Officers, but they didn’t show their badges. They didn’t get out of their vehicle nor did they give me their reason for saying to me to “get into the back of the car, we’ll take you where you want to go”. I didn’t get in the car and I don’t think I’ve run that fast ever again. I was very aware that I was coming out of an underground parking lot and was on an empty street, but I knew where my hotel was located and wasn’t ashamed of wearing sneakers with my suit. That happened 30 years ago and I still get upset when I think about what could have happened. Interestingly enough, they didn’t follow me. When I called the police from the front desk of the hotel, I was told there wasn’t a cruiser in that area.
I was lucky. That night, I decided never to push my luck, again.
Comments (0)