Backing up a zombie

If I’m free on November 17, I can go to the Regent Theatre to watch Abbamania, where lookalikes perform note-perfect renditions of the ABBA songbook. On the same bill, just to cover the bases a little more broadly, I can also hear Cher and Bee Gees impersonators knocking off the greatest hits of the star personalities.

I could also have gone to the Empire Theatre on November 9 to watch Hotel California, an Eagles tribute; and on November 10 to see a Motown Soul Tribute. And if I’m patient, I can go to the Empire on January 22 to see a recreation of Pink Floyd’s The Wall or hang on until February 15 to see a 21 Gun Salute, a Tribute to AC/DC.

Yes, tribute shows seem to be all the rage these days. Either the original acts don’t exist any more (because of death or retirement) or tickets to see them live are priced at intergalactic levels. And if you do purchase tickets to see a star act, you are paying for the dubious privilege of a brief sighting of a speck from the distant edges of some temporarily repurposed hockey arena. By this measure, seeing an ersatz act at the Empire or the Regent begins to seem like not such a bad deal.

When it comes to tribute acts, however, mark me down as prissy: I would sooner listen to a recording by the original artist than than marvel at how faithfully his or her repertoire can be replicated by someone else, and reserve my purchasing power for a live performance by a relative unknown.

But the tribute business is now going to get a lot busier, thanks to the 30-years-dead Roy Orbison. Orbison is revivified on a 28-city tour of the U.S. and Canada (he has already played Toronto). This feat is made possible by the fact that he is performing as a 3D hologram. Filmed sequences have been blended with hologram technology to produce a chimera that sings, plays the guitar and speaks to the audience. To make things a little more lifelike, the hologram is backed up by a 30-piece orchestra.

Having already completed a European tour, the hologram and orchestra will eventually take up residency in the Andy Williams Moon River Theatre in Branson, Missouri; where the stars all have their own theatres. Ah, Andy Williams: how quickly they forget!

The studio responsible for creating the Orbison hologram is said to be working on a recreation of the late opera star Maria Callas. Does this mean we are now in for a wave of hologram tours? Will a hologram of Duke Ellington reappear and lead a live orchestra in Mood Indigo and Take the A Train?

If the hologram thing takes hold, maybe the Rolling Stones—fronted by a 74-year-old Mick Jagger (who once remarked “I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m 45”)—would prefer to invest in holographic reproductions of themselves and send the holograms out on tour while they sit home and collect the revenue. Maybe the Stones in the hologram can be 30 years old. Maybe they can work Brian Jones back into the act.

Maybe Ethel Merman could return to us just because she was one of a kind and we miss her. Maybe an audience-averse Glen Gould would not turn over in his grave if he were made to reappear for public performances as a hologram. Maybe I will one day be able to order up a custom hologram concert in my home featuring Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt.

If holograms really start to take hold, are we going to be inundated with holograms of acts that don’t deserve eternal life? Will I have to settle for Al Martino, Vic Damone and Jerry Vale holograms at the Regent because Nat King Cole, Perry Como or Johnny Mathis holograms are filling the Sony Centre?

And if all the acts that ever were reappear as holograms and start clogging up the public stages, what chance will new human performers have of catching on with a broader audience? There are thousands of people out there whose talent outstrips their fame, and a star (like Lady Gaga) may not be born because she has been crowded out by a tribute act or hologram.

And, though I admit I haven’t seen one ‘live’, mark me down as prissy about holograms as well. In fact, I find the whole concept quite creepy. Do you call a hologram a him or an it? Can you ask a hologram for his autograph? Does he trash his hotel rooms? Does he respond to hecklers? And how do our unfortunate 30 musician friends feel about backing up a hologram? Worse than if they were backing up a zombie, I presume.

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes,ca