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Backseat driving
The week of February 21st! Time flies, as you know, when we’re having fun. Are we having fun, yet? I sure hope so. I think I have decided we all need a real break. Yeah, I know we’ve had a break from each other for a year now. I mean a break from the break we’re having. We need something exciting in our lives. To that end, LOML and I went on a road trip to Wellington on Saturday, picked up some cider at Loch Mór, then to the Farm Store to buy birdseed. I can’t tell you how exhilarating that was for us! Booze and birdseed! We actually left Picton, in the car, when we didn’t have appointments with a doctor. We just drove around a bit and yapped about a day when we might go for a coffee or lunch without any restrictions. Woo Hoo! It’s going to be difficult to top our Saturday adventure any time soon. Along the road, it occurred to us that someone in the car hadn’t actually driven “the car”. We picked the car up in January of 2019. I’ve never driven it. McManus’ ulterior motive, I think, was to get on a back road and make me get behind the wheel. It didn’t work. My excuse being, “The roads are a bit snow-covered, don’t you think?”
To tell the truth, I hate driving a new vehicle. And I know the one we own is no longer new, but my theory is, if I put off driving our newish car long enough, “someone else” will be the first to put a ding in the door when someone parks too close to something. I’ve been waiting for two years and still “no dings”. Another thing, the “new” Rolls-canhardly has six speeds. The old one only had five. Driving a five-speed took a bit of getting used to after twenty years of a four-speed. While driving the “old” car, I always clenched my jaw a little bit when I had to shift into fifth gear and then spent the rest of the driving time with my hand hovering over the stick-shift wondering which gear I was in and listening closely to the engine to hear for a “shift request”. Six speeds! I might be too old for an extra gear. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for all of that shifting and having a passenger quietly wondering if I would ever shift into sixth gear or, worse, gently suggesting it’s a possibility. Don’t get me wrong, I love driving, and I miss driving. I miss the independence of hopping in the car and going someplace without asking LOML to suit up for a trip to the hardware store. But I guess I’m just not ready to get behind the wheel, after such a long break, and I’ve got at least twelve reasons, maybe fewer.
Reason number one, as I already mentioned, I don’t want to be the person who puts the first ding-in-the-door. Since LOML hasn’t done that—yet—it could be a while before I look for my keys and head out on a tour. Reason number two: Where the H E double stick shifts would I go? Seriously, where the heck would I go? We’re not that far from the grocery store so I usually walk. It’s not like I’m going to hop in the car and drive to The City, any city, and hit the art galleries or museums, unless someone puts the first ding in the door. Reason number three: It’s still winter. I really and truly hate driving in the winter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very good winter driver and we do have excellent snow tires on the “R-C-H”. I just don’t trust other drivers in the winter. I did my fair share of winter driving when I worked in Markham. Some of those trips were dazzlingly dangerous. If I started driving again, at this time of the year, I might be the person responsible for the first ding. I don’t want that on my side of the score card. We keep score, for a few things, actually. Reason number four: I’m not sure I know how to turn the radio on. Okay, so that’s not a big deal, but I have watched LOML use a button on the steering wheel to mess around with the music and the source of the music. I certainly don’t want to admit I can’t handle my music. Additionally, as regards music, I am one of those people who will replay a song just because it’s so damned good. I can’t even imagine dealing with six gears, no dings and fiddling with the music button on the steering wheel. Reason number five: No keys necessary. Now, to be honest, the last car was a push-button start and I was famous for pushing the flashing warning light button and wondering why the engine was so quiet. This car is the same, but the problem of keyless start is compounded by the other four reasons.
I’m just being a wimp, I guess. I’ve actually become used to people offering to drive me here and there. I’ve learned to relax and not be such a backseat driver. On our last “outing” I wondered, aloud, if I had been the driver, could I have found The Farm Store if I had been ding-free, shifting, tuning and avoiding snow banks driving? Time will tell. Hey, I just found out the back seats are heated! Maybe backseat driving isn’t such a terrible thing.
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