Bitter or sweet

Goodbyes really are bittersweet. Saturday, the first full day of summer, dawned bright and beautiful, as if to make a goodbye picnic easier for all of us to handle. Of course, if you’re going to a picnic, it’s always sweet to have good weather. This Saturday, our youngest daughter and her wife hosted their goodbye picnic at their favourite park in Kingston. The girls have been close by at CFB Kingston and now they will be not as close with their posting to CFB Shilo. Yup, Shilo in Manitoba. Is there another?

Military families should be used to postings and deployments. It’s new to me and to LOML, and it’s not going to be easy. I’ll take a posting over deployment any day, though. If you know me, and perhaps one or two of you do, you know I’m not a very mushy gal. Oh, I’m sentimental and can shed a tear with the best of you, but we figure we did our job right as regards the kids.

We knew our kids would grow up. And they all did grow up. They all went off to some college or university and got educated. And, one-by-one, our kids packed their stuff and moved out to start their adult lives, independent of the parental units. As grown-ups, they don’t have to eat all of their vegetables, or even try one bite, anymore. LOML and I can’t ground them because they don’t make their beds. They brush their teeth or they don’t— we care, but we aren’t paying their dental bills anymore. All of them can parallel park their own vehicles and they know better than to leave the tank empty. That’s the sweet part.

We want our kids to be happy and healthy and on their own, but also want to be able to see them for an afternoon or evening or just because. It’s been hard enough our oldest son lives in Vancouver with his family. He grew up, just right. He got a job. He fell in love. He has a wife and a daughter. But Vancouver isn’t Picton. There isn’t any unplanned, surprise visits to Vancouver. Seriously, the only surprise about a visit to Vancouver is if we manage to get a deal on air fare. We can’t just drop by for a coffee or to babysit or to take our granddaughter to Dairy Queen. We miss our Vancouver kids, and now we’re going to miss our Shilo kids.

The bitter part of the bittersweet is CFB Shilo might as well be in Vancouver. Our “visit the kids out west” plans just got way more complicated. Do we drive to Shilo and fly from Brandon or Winter-peg to Vancouver or do we fly to Vancouver and drive back to Shilo, then home in a rental car? Maybe we should just drive out and back in our own car.

Every morning LOML and I spend more time looking at the travel section of the newspaper than we do on the crossword puzzles. The girls haven’t even left and we’ve mentally moved them and are planning a first visit to their PMQ. Shouldn’t it be easier for the parental units when the kids grow up and go away? I think so. LOML thinks so, too. I can tell by the pained expression on his face when he does the “visit the kids math.

Personally, I think we should dump LOML’s beloved coupe, buy a camper van, load it up with junk food, tie-dyed tee-shirts and blue jeans, and head out west to be a surprise burden on the kids. No one will have to meet us at the airport, and we can camp in their driveway, mess up their bathrooms, play our music too loudly and raid their fridges when we get the munchies.

Payback time. Bitter for them and just plain sweet for us.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca