Christmas for Mom and Dad

A Hallmark Christmas! When I was a kid, I know my parents envisioned a family Christmas of greeting card proportions. Snow on the ground, beautifully wrapped gifts under the perfectly decorated tree, every cookie on the plate would have been baked and decorated to perfection and all of us kids looking spic and span like something out of a magazine shoot. They dared to dream. The days leading up to Christmas should have been filled with our best behaviour, a flurry of gift wrapping, the delicious smells of baking, sweet carolling and good will. What my parents got was a house full of wise-acre kids who loved to entertain each other with “their” version of every hymn and song on the Eaton’s Christmas Carol Sheets (earning us all a spot on Santa’s naughty list) and we saw nothing wrong with frat house versions of Dasher, Dancer, Comet and Vixen decorations, and making sure the back forty were covered with some seriously X-rated snow people. Yessir, a greeting card in the making. By 1965, the youngest of the Durning kids knew the truth about Santa and “laying a finger on the side of his nose” out the window it all “blowed.” Poor Mom and Dad, they never had the dream Christmas with all of us at home.

Eventually, we all grew up and left home and tried to create our own version of a Hallmark Christmas. But, when we gathered at Mom and Dad’s place for Christmas dinner, the naughty list always took a hit. It wasn’t quite like the fun we had as kids, but close. As adults we were a shining example to our own children, for sure. In 2008, Mom passed away in the spring. That first Christmas without Mom was probably the most like a greeting card in that we had lost a bit of our zest without Mom around to give us “the look.” In 2009, Dad died in July. Christmas last year was a “made for TV” moment, no laughs, no pranks, no x-rated cards or gifts. We were on the nice list. Dad had been the guy who tried to keep a straight face when Mom was giving us “the look,” but he always had a twinkle in his eye. It made me sad to think all of the fun was slowly blowing up the chimney and I offered to have everyone “down” for a good old fashioned weekend in the County. Why not? I’m the oldest, and we’ve got a big house begging for a Christmas party. The invitations were sent to my three brothers and their spouses. With LOML and I, youngest COM and her spouse, three brothers and their spouses—it looked like a party could happen. On Thursday, my family began to trickle in. By Friday evening our home was filled with people: 15 to be exact. My brothers, their wives, COM and spouse, and friends who heard the party was on and we all got down to some serious Seasonal Affective Disorder.

LOML and I found ourselves hosts to a massive, County Santa Claus Parade, pre-Christmas, sleepover party. Our front hall was filled with winter boots, slippers, winter jackets, snow pants, mittens, gloves and luggage. Our hall table was awash with iPods, iPhones, iPads and MiniMacs. A special docking station had to be set up to accommodate dozens of electronic devices. Throughout the weekend, we loaded (and unloaded) 15 people a variety vehicles and took off to enjoy the best of the County Shoulder Season at wineries, restaurants, local shops and the Festival of Trees. We welcomed Santa at the top of our lungs, twice. (Psst, we loved Santa’s elves at the Picton Parade). When we wore ourselves out, we headed back to the house and sampled the wines, lined up for the bathrooms, decorated gingerbread people (seriously, gingerbread thongs and pasties!), paired the cheeses with the vintages, decorated the tree, sang carols (loudly and with lyrics changed to suit “the brothers” in a return to the absurd) and we watched far too many movies. Several of the movies were Christmas classics and, at appropriate moments, the “mute button” was pressed and lines were offered up from the couches, floor cushions and screamed from folks in the kitchen. I don’t believe for one moment that Bing Crosby said “those” words in White Christmas, by the way. Oh my. With big smiles on our faces LOML and I bustled to stay ahead of a mountain of damp bath towels and empty salty-snack bowls, clearing paths through the mountain of boots, mitts and scarves in the front hall and stepping up to the demand for ice cubes, wine glasses, and the occasional sit-down meal. Jokes and stories were played out and told. Economically speaking, the County wine, beer and cider Industry may have experienced a healthy upswing this weekend.

The parents would have loved that we created a greeting card Christmas here in the County. A Bluntcard Christmas, for sure.