Eat clean, play dirty

Is there anything left on any food list that’s fit to eat? I’m beginning to doubt it. Documentaries have been devoted to food terror. Every afternoon, television scare-tioners, with impressive credentials, scream about the 10 latest “must eat”, “must avoid” and “must add”. Magazines devote entire sections to supplements you can’t live without, vitamins you have been living without and workouts you shouldn’t leave out. And the lists of foods, vitamins, supplements and workouts change as often as you change your gym socks. Who would have know we’re all deficient in vitamin B12, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamin D, vitamin A and CoQ10. Apparently we don’t get enough zinc. Today, soy products are on the A-list. By Wednesday soy products have passed through the system, so to speak, and are on the do-not-do list. Dairy products will save us from what ails us and dairy products will be the death of us.

Even if you choose to perimeter shop, the way I do, in the back of your mind you’re dealing with “the 10 fruits and/or vegetables you should avoid”, what’s been genetically modified, and the possibility of picking up a cut of meat from a feedlot animal with added hormones, or a dairy product with added chemicals and highly refined sugars. We’re surrounded by socalled food products that have been so processed they may look like the real deal but are “Franken-foods”. What has been used to keep those out-of-season fruits and vegetables looking so fresh? Companies devote whole product lines to detergents for fresh produce. And, what’s been added to the feed in that feed lot? We stand around reading the labels and wonder if modified corn starch really needs to be added to that yogurt and, for some reason, grateful there isn’t any added gelatin. Yogurt. What’s to mess up with yogurt.

Speaking of Franken-foods, how about this one? “Corn syrup solids, salt, hydrolyzed corn protein, monosodium glutamate, dehydrated mechanically separated cooked chicken, chicken fat, dehydrated chicken broth, onion powder, sugar, autolyzed yeast extract, calcium silicate, spice extract, citric acid, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, hydrogenated soy bean oil, gelatin, sulphites and may contain milk ingredients.” Believe it or not, this is the chemical slurry/beverage LOML was served two days after undergoing open-heart surgery several years ago. On the bright side with only 10 calories per serving and 40 per cent of his daily allowance of sodium, it’s a guarantee LOML could maintain his svelte figure and, if he consumed it every day, he’d be a heart patient for life. Let’s just say, packets of powdered flavour cubes are not something I rush to pick up when I shop. Remember last week when I bragged about my seven-yearold laptop being able to recognize spelling errors? Well, Chill Rose Eh (as I call her) didn’t recognize four of the so-called ingredients in those powdered chicken flavour cubes.

We’ve got a whole lot more than vaccinating our kids to worry about. We should be very afraid of that granola bar we lovingly tuck into their lunch bags. That granola bar may have been made with whole grains, but it’s had a little help from glycerol, ammonium bicarbonate, hydrogenated soybean oil, artificial flavours, potassium sorbate, fructose, glucose and sulfites. We’ve got a lot on our plates, kids. It’s time to eat clean and play dirty with the people who produce our food.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca