Footprints

Joseph Stoness comes home

Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time
From Psalm of Life, H.W. Longfellow

 It was the most horrific scene imaginable. When first responders arrived at the scene near Point Traverse on that May day in 2009 the small boy was engulfed in flames. Another boy looked on desperately. Both smelled of gasoline. When the flames were extinguished, eight-year-old Joseph Stoness was fighting for his life. He was badly burned over more than 85 per cent of his small body.

First responders knew they needed an air ambulance fast, the boy’s chances of survival were fading. But minutes from arrival in South Marsyburgh—the Ornge air ambulance was given new instructions from central dispatch. The helicopter could be heard approaching by first responders on site. But before it landed the aircraft was redirected to Renfrew near Ottawa. Stunned, the crew on the ground scrambled to get Joseph into a land ambulance and raced him to Prince Edward County Memorial Hospital in Picton. Doctors, nurses and paramedics worked feverishly for more than two hours to stabilize the boy and ease his pain.

Joseph Stoness patiently listens to speeches at a ceremony at the Wellington Legion last Thursday afternoon.

How and why the air ambulance was diverted is the subject of another story altogether. We will bring you that story in the coming weeks in the Times.

LIFE TURNS AT SICK KIDS
When Joseph at last arrived at Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto, more than six hours had passed since the searing flames had been extinguished on his body. He was in desperate shape. The care and outcomes, however, for burn victims— particularly young victims—has improved greatly in recent years. Despite the devastation to his body, Joseph would survive.

Life for those living with burns, however, is hard. Life-long hard. There are many, many treatments and painful surgeries needed over many years. After the initial trauma has subsided, burn victims must cope with emotional and physical scarring. For the skin, once burned this badly, loses elasticity and a diminished ability to expand.

Joseph was, and continues to, literally grow out of his own skin. He has undergone many surgeries to accommodate his expanding body. He will need many more such procedures for years to come.

Despite the terrible circumstances that brought him there—Joe’s life took a wonderful turn while at Sick Kids hospital. There he met Steve Ingram, a nurse at in the burn unit. Steve had cared for badly burned children for more than 25 years. Over the next days and weeks, Steven developed a friendship with the bright and aware boy.

Meanwhile, Joseph’s home life was coming under greater scrutiny.

His brother was charged with arson related to the incident. Proceedings were underway that would eventually remove Joseph from the care of his parents.

A COMMUNITY REACTS
In this community there was a wave of shock to the tragedy, followed by many gestures of support. The Royal Canadian Legion branch in Wellington organized a series of fundraising events for Joseph. Altogether they raised $15,017.

John Chisling gets a big hug from Joseph.

A portion of the proceeds were used by Joe’s family to purchase appliances in the family’s new home in Odessa, near Napanee—but it became clear that Joe would soon become a ward of the Children’s Aid Society. The funds were frozen.

Legion executive member Ken Taylor explained that since the proceeds had been raised for Joseph, the Legion had an obligation to ensure they went to his benefit. In the meantime, Fred Ruetz and Linda Baise, both residents of Wellington and both, themselves, burn victims, organized a New Year’s dance in Joseph’s honour, raising an additional $500.

Another Wellington resident, John Chisling, began to take an interest in Joseph’s story. John had been a contributor to the Legion fundraiser. He offered to work with the Family and Children’s Services of Frontenac, Lennox and Addington (FACSFLA). Thus began a three-year struggle to see that Joseph received the funds raised in this community on his behalf, a test of endurance that ultimately came to a happy conclusion at an inspiring ceremony at the Wellington legion last Thursday.

MEETING STEVE AND INGRID
While still at Sick Kids in Toronto, Joe and Steve grew closer. As Joe’s home life became more uncertain, Steve pestered Joe’s doctors and children’s services workers to learn what would happen when Joe was released.

Steve,and wife Ingrid, had welcomed foster children into their Grafton home on several occasions in the past and had raised their own five children. Steve knew Joseph would need a lot of special care and prodded officials to enable Joe to come and live with them.

So when it was time to leave Sick Kids, Joseph moved in with Steve and Ingrid.

Joseph’s caseworker, Renee Madden, of the Highland Shores Children’s Aid Society, said that given Joseph’s special care needs the match could not have worked out better.

“He is absolutely flourishing,” said Madden. “Steve and Ingrid have given him the most stable, safe and supportive home possible. He is also a very resilient young man.”

It has not been easy. There are seemingly endless sessions with specialty caregivers, including physiotherapists to ease his pain and improve mobility, occupational therapy to enhance fine motor functions and other forms of healing therapy.

Ingrid home-schools Joseph, as she has all of her children. She describes him as a bright and sensitive boy intrigued by technology and video. (He has several postings currently online on YouTube).

JOSEPH AT 12
As Joseph played and shared stories with other boys in the Legion meeting hall last week, there was little immediate evidence of the trauma this boy has endured already in his brief life. Only when looking closely do the scars and the damaged tissue reveal themselves to the observer. But if these wounds slow this now 12-year-old down, he gives no signal—no outward hint of pain or discomfort, hysical or otherwise.

He appears every bit the carefree, adventurous, and playful boy expected at his age.

During the Legion ceremony, Joseph read a Psalm for Life to the gathering—the Henry Wadsworth Longfellow plea to make the most of the days we each prowl on this earth, leaving footprints in the sands of time.

He didn’t actually read it live—he is self-conscious the way 12-year-olds are. Instead he has video-recorded himself reciting the poem in the quiet of his own home a few days earlier. Steven replayed the video on Joseph’s iPad while the boy squirmed in slight embarrassment.

TENACITY AND CREATIVITY
Joseph and his new family were in Wellington last week to learn that the remaining money raised in this community on his behalf (nearly $12,000, was finally being put into his name. Specifically, the funds, nearly $12,000, have been invested in a Registered Disability Savings Plan (RDSP) established in Joseph’s name. There it will appreciate in value until he redeems it. He is eligible to do so when he is 18. If he manages to leave it untouched for 20 years the value may be as much as $100,000 by then.

It took years of conversations, nudging, prodding and belligerence by Chisling to make it happen. A savings plan of this kind was strange and unfamiliar animal to the children’s services officials. Meanwhile, the agency was undergoing its own amalgamation. There was little appetite among these officials to explore new ground.

Only when Steve Woodman was appointed to head the combined agency a year ago—did the wheels begin to turn for Chisling.

Chisling recounted his frustration trying to explain the RDSP notion to various government officials. He had gone to the beer store and was unloading his tale of expasperation upon the attendant taking the empties. It turns out the guy behind the counter at the beer store in Picton was a brother of a government official who had helped develop and administer the RDSP program.

“All I wanted was a drink,” said Chisling. “I found the guy who designed the program.”

Woodman praised Chisling’s tenacity and creativity.

“It has been quite a journey,” said the head of the Kingston- based children’s services agency. “A very long road to get here. Thank you especially to John for tremendously creative out-of-the-box thinking.”

He lauded, too, the Legion and their willingness to help Joseph.

“You are an emblem of a strong community standing together,” said Woodman.

He commended Steve and Ingrid for accepting Joseph into their home.

“I could not have hoped for a better situation,” said Woodman.

There remain may struggles ahead for Joseph. There are some wounds that will never heal. He has met with his brother in supervised settings in recent months. Both boys will forever be scarred by the events that terrible May day in 2009.

Yet his outlook on life, the support of his foster parents and the compassion shown by this community make Joseph’s journey a truly remarkable one.

In Longfellows words as spoken by Joseph.

“But to act, that each to-morrow
Find us farther than to-day.”