H E double….

During a recent excursion to a local grocery store, I was asked why I didn’t use the phrase, “what the H E double hockey sticks” in my columns anymore. I said perhaps I hadn’t had a really good rant brewing. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few times when I’ve blown a gasket over current events and issues. I just haven’t found a way to get the rant out of me. Maybe a list would help. Yeah, that’s the ticket. A list of “What the H E double hockey sticks.”

Anti-vaxxers. What the H E double needles is that all about? One of the Times’ columnists took this on a couple of weeks ago, and here’s the deal, as far as I’m concerned. There really isn’t a greater incidence of autism since the introduction of vaccinations. There is, however, a better method of diagnosing autism which might lead folks to believe the increase is related to vaccines, although I don’t know how. When I was a kid, children who were autistic were sent to special schools or institutionalized because there wasn’t a way to diagnose or identify the problem. And there certainly wasn’t a way to integrate children with different needs into a regular classroom. If a parent today wants to draw a parallel between autism and vaccination, so be it. Just remember, if your unvaccinated child shows signs of pertussis, measles, mumps, rubella, meningococcal disease or varicella—keep them at home. There are children, and adults, who cannot be vaccinated because they have serious health concerns. And that notion of deliberately catching a childhood disease and getting it over with is a messed up pile of horse-pucky.

Saving water. Saving electricity. Yup, a great big what the H E double hockey sticks. We’ve done, and are doing, our part. We bought into it. We became champions of water conservancy. The virtual Baden-Powells of letting the yellow mellow and only flushing the brown down. If my grandmother, raised in rural Ireland where oil lamps provided light, were alive today, she would surely smile at our campaign to turn out lights when we aren’t in the room. What about all of us tossing our incandescent bulbs and buying those freaking expensive curly ones? Which, by the way, never last the much-touted 10,000 hours. Saving electricity has many of us eating our evening meals by the light of our ingenuity and frugality. Holy macaroni, we became amazing at saving, and then what happened? We got the notices telling us we’d been so good at saving water and electricity we could now expect those utility prices to skyrocket. Now, most of us can’t afford to flush the brown down by the glow of a baby’s night light. Raise your hand if you saw that coming. Don’t even get me started about going off the grid.

Cost of living.Now what the H E double bags of monopoly money is that all about? The federal government tells us the cost of living only rose by one per cent in January 2015. Yeah, that’s what happened. The price of a barrel of oil didn’t change, but we’re getting spanked at the pumps. And obviously, StatsCan didn’t go grocery shopping in December or January. Raise your steak knife if you can afford a piece of meat, never mind the cost of ground meat. Sure, we’ll all find a way to reduce our meat, fish, egg and poultry consumption—and then the cost of quinoa, beans, turnips and cabbage will blow through the roof. If you’re on a fixed income, good luck getting enough to eat in the upcoming months. Even if you can afford a meal or two, you’ll be too broke to use your stove—electric or natural gas.

And weather isn’t climate. There. I wrote it. Of course, it’s been a cold, cold winter. February was off the charts in Ontario. If you thought your water and hydro bills were high, wait until you get that bill for your heating fuel. I have read and heard more than a lifetime’s worth of BS from people who just don’t get it. For those of you who need a Dummies quick guide, weather is atmospheric conditions over a short period of time—you know, like winter or spring or summer or fall or last week or today. Climate is all about the long run—decades centuries. A brutally cold February doesn’t mean there isn’t any change in the climate. If the temperature increases by one degree Celsius or more over the course of a century, it is considered global warming. Global warming is more than a rise in temperature, but you get my drift—a polar vortex snow drift.

Finally, every day is international men’s day. To the man who suggested there should be a men’s day, I say that’s an old nugget. I’ve heard it far too many times. However, Sunday is International Women’s Day. It is a day of information, warmth, goodness, sharing and planning. Women need this day to remind the world that inequalities and inequities exist in the home, in the workplace, in public and in private. Join Food Not Bombs for a free, all-day, family friendly celebration on March 8 at the Picton town hall, above the firehall on King Street.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca