Happy Scamday

July is such a birthday month for our families! I’d bet if LOML and I enjoyed a slice of birthday cake, or three, with each of our July celebrants we’d look like the Weebles™ who wobbled. I’m not sure of the exact number of birthdays we celebrate, but I believe it’s probably near fifteen. That’s a lot of celebrating and a lot of cake.

Aside from the number of birthdays, July always makes me think of family summer vacations. When we were kids we lived just a smidge north of Highway 401 and just smidge outside of Toronto proper. Our family’s summer vacations took us to exotic places like Sibbald, Algonquin, Presqu’ile, Mazinaw, Niagara Falls and areas like Midland, Penatanguishene, Honey Harbour and Rice Lake. It doesn’t sound like much of an adventure these days, but back in the fifties and sixties, when folks didn’t have the luxury of credit cards, cellphones or big service centres along the way, travelling by car with your family was an epic event that could be fraught with technical difficulties of the mid-century mechanical kind. There was a lot of disaster planning involved in a family trip. It wasn’t unusual to pull off the highway because the ’52 Chevy had overheated, or an already well-patched tire was flat or little sister had barfed on the older sister and one of the younger brothers needed to sprinkle on a tree beside the roadway. If there was a mechanical problem that couldn’t be fixed by one of the adults in the car, the thumb came out to hitch a ride to the next town with a gas station. Gas stations usually had a mechanic on duty in the olden days. In our case, if Dad had to hitch a ride for help, Mom was left with all of us kids sitting beside the road moaning and groaning about being hungry, thirsty, carsick or bored. Fast forward to “nowadays” and I find myself getting upset if I get halfway to Belleville and realize I’ve forgotten my cellphone. With a cellphone help is just a phone call, or text, away. Newer cars of the 2000s are so much more reliable than the weighty behemoths our parents drove. Modern vehicles will let you know if there’s a problem with any system including tires, temperature, oil levels, fluid levels, how many kilometres left on the tank and lane drifting (if you’re inclined to do so). In spite of those amazing technological advances I feel as if there’s just too much intuitiveness, too much of my information out there and my anxiety levels are registering high on my own dashboard. Every morning, right after a cup of wake-up coffee and a hug from LOML, the first thing I reach for is my cellphone to see if one of the kids has texted, sent pictures or is asking to visit the cement pond. The next thing I do is scroll through the Socials to see who will make me laugh, who died, who’s going to make my warning lights light-up and which politician has done something even more idiotic than the last stupid thing they did.

Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the safety net a credit card and the cellphone offer while I’m on the road. I think I’m way too old and too cute to be thumbing a ride to get help. But I might be falling out of love of the foofaraw on social media platforms. When I decided to dip my toe into the muck and mire of “connectedness” and Social Media, I kinda/sorta enjoyed it. The banter, the baloney, the birthdays, the memories, sharing the ups and downs, the pictures and the connections with friends and family were the upside. Recently, though, a bit of danger and darkness has started to creep in. This morning, Sunday, someone from “Facebook” insisted I’d be heading to Facebook jail if I didn’t send a passport photo that clearly showed my age, date of birth and all of the other numbers and stamps to prove I am who I am. Essentially, my profile was hijacked. Where’s the fun, the gossip, the giggles, the sharing of memes and memories and birthdays if I’m locked out by a scammer? Why would anyone at the real Facebook need to see my passport or, for that matter, my Marriage Certificate or Driver’s Licence or Library card or Credit Card? Where would the fun be in wondering who the H E double hockey sticks has the information on my government issued identification? Why, for one moment, would I believe my private information would be safe and secure and its use wellintentioned in the hands of a scammer. And, to be sure, someone was trying to scam me.

It’s a dangerous and dark world out there in social media land. I liked July better when it was just a whole lot of birthdays, on the kitchen calendar, and way too much cake (as if there could ever be too much cake) and a whole lot of anonymity. Be careful out there in Social Media Land! Remember, you don’t need Social Media to celebrate a July birthday and you don’t need a July birthday to buy a birthday cake!