Columnists
Make like you’re tasting wine
Did you ever get the feeling that your mouthwash was letting you down in the flavour department?
Tim Crasher, a 33-year-old entrepreneur from Trenton, certainly did—and he’s doing something about it. “I just got sick and tired of the taste of ‘cool mint‘ flavoured antiseptic lingering in my mouth all morning,” he said. And one day, when he was on a wine-tasting tour of the County, the idea hit him like a bolt out of the blue: why didn’t he combine the ‘gargle and spit‘ elements of both mouthwashing and wine-tasting to produce a more interesting mouthwash experience.
Crasher did a little more research and discovered that the global mouthwash market is expected to grow significantly over the next five years. He unearthed a report from the Business Wire news service stating “vendors are bringing in innovative products to meet changing consumer demands and to increase their customer base.” Indeed, one major player has already introduced a cinnamon-flavoured anti-cavity flouride rinse
It soon became his mission to develop a wine-flavoured mouthwash, figuring that if he could get to the market with his product first, a major player would likely want to buy him out, leaving him sitting pretty. “Look what happened with ‘Newman’s Own’ salad dressing,” he states by way of example.
The trick he had to master, of course, was to replicate that indescribable sensation when the wine is swirled around in the mouth and then spat out gently but assertively into a nearby vessel. How did he manage to do so, given the germ-killing qualities of mouthwash and the slightly more refined qualities of wine? “It’s a trade secret,” says Crasher. “But I will say it took me a fair amount of trial and error, and it involved the dough from my mother’s muffin recipe, a touch of lime juice and a dollop of rubbing alcohol.” He added that as far as he can determine, no harm has been done to animals in the product testing process; and went on to note that his rabbits seemed particularly happy recently.
The flavours that he is developing will not be named after particular grape varietals, but rather familiar places within the County such as Rednersville Red, Wellington White and Salmon Point Sparkling. “I couldn’t very well name my mouthwash a Pinot Noir when my grapes are industrial grade or below,” he explained. But make no mistake: the fact that his product has been derived from County grapes will be prominently displayed on the product label—a fact that has got some local winemakers worried about its effect on the upmarket reputation of County grapes. Crasher, however, sees the wineglass as half full, not half empty: think of the thousands of people who will want to come to the County to do real wine tastings after trying out his mouthwash, he says.
Crasher intends to sell the product in a standard plastic bottle with a screw-off top that opens up to become the cup of a disposable wine glass. An attachable stem for the glass will be taped to the side of the bottle—“just like a juice box,” he notes. The instructions on the bottle will advise the user how to swirl the mouthwash in the glass, hold it up to the light, sniff it, roll the contents around in the mouth, optionally gargle it in the back of the throat and then part company with the contents in a nearbly sink. “Like the slogan says,” he notes, “the experience will be to make like the user is tasting wine.” It will get new garglers interested in wine-tasting in the County, he maintains, as well giving experienced tasters something to practise on that is cheaper (and less a challenge to sobriety) than opening and tasting a bottle of wine “Of course, it will sell at a premium mouthwash price,” said Crasher.
Crasher has already copyrighted the “Sommelier” brand for his mouthwash, as well as the advertising slogan he plans to use: “Make Like You’re Tasting Wine.” He has not settled on a marketing medium yet, but notes that Peter Mansbridge will be out of work by next summer and might make a good brand spokesperson. If his product takes off, Crasher says, he can envision a complete line of oral care products—a toothpaste, for example, or dental floss, or perhaps even a dental protective chewing gum—built around the wine concept. But he doesn’t want to get ahead of himself.
Crasher is also hoping to secure a Young Rural Innovators grant from the Ontario government. The program gives a $50,000 award to help those with promising new uses for agricultural products hire experts to fill out application forms for further grants. “My top priority is to get myself a proper vat so my mom can have her bathtub back,” he said ruefully.
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