Columnists
Making the west happy
Justin Trudeau has got his work cut out for him on many fronts, but the consensus seems to be that his overriding concern should be to make the West happy. The Liberals got no seats in Alberta, lost the one they had in Saskatchewan, reduced their seats to 11 out of 42 in B.C., and four out of 14 in Manitoba.
So what is our reminted Prime Minister going to do about it? He could appoint a known Conservative or two to his new cabinet to be unveiled on November 20. Would Stephen Harper agree to come out of retirement to take on the job of finance minister? I doubt it: anyone who accepted the position would be treated as a traitor by their former peers—and Mr. Harper went up and out from Mr. Trudeau’s job, so the position of anything less than the position of Supreme Prime Ministership probably wouldn’t tempt him. Besides, things didn’t work out so well for David Emerson after he joined the Harper Conservative minority government as a minister just days after he had been elected as a Liberal. Who else is out there to take such an appointment: Brad Wall? Lanny McDonald?
Mr. Trudeau could decide to operate like a travelling circus master, holding cabinet and caucus meetings in the west. The problem is that it is just that—a circus. It’s expensive, draining and not very efficient. And westerners, like most people, can see through a gimmick.
So we have to make westerners feel more like Ottawa belongs to them, just as much as to we who live in Ontario. The tried and true method is to make it sound like Ottawa people live in the coldest capital in the world, making Edmonton seem like a tropical paradise by comparison. That is a good stunt as far as it goes; but I think there is much more that Ottawa could do to make itself more ‘western.’
Take Rideau Hall, an “idyllic 79-acre urban oasis,” according to the Governor General’s website. It belongs to all Canadians. So why not turn it, or even half of it, into a western style ranch? What better way of making the west feel like it belongs? So a few cricket games have to be played somewhere else: what’s the big deal about that? Nobody in the West plays cricket!
Seeing as how he lives on the grounds of Rideau Hall himself, Mr. Trudeau could spend time with his family mucking out the stables or roping calves. He could dress up in cowboy gear to his heart’s content. Lots of opportunities for selfies in that.
Or take the Rideau Canal. Instead of selling beavertails, why not offer the food concession to master pancake flippers from the Calgary Stampede grounds?
And Ottawa has just launched its new underground downtown transportation system, and it hasn’t been a rip-roaring success. So why not consider bringing some chuckwagons to fill out the downtown streets? They would probably get you across town just as fast as public transportation—especially if you were fortunate enough to find yourself racing against another chuckwagon.
Public buildings in Ottawa could be named after prominent westerners—like a Manning Building (named ambiguously so as to allow Preston to bask in Ernest’s reflected glow, and incidentally to impress Americans with our reverence for their football heroes); or a Fay Wray Tower (she was from Alberta); or a Sarah Binks Complex (she was from Saskatchewan).
In addition, statues of westerners could be mounted around Ottawa to recognize the accomplishments of the west. Why not start with Alberta’s Ralph Klein? Or Saskatchewan’s Brent Butt?
Sports is another way to show westerners we care about them. The Trudeau government, having already spent billions of dollars to buy itself a pipeline for Alberta, could also put up a comparatively trifling amount to buy NHL franchises in Saskatoon and Regina; although it might have to give one to Quebec City and Victoria as well. If the NHL knew what was good for it, it would simply shut up, toe the line and accept Ottawa’s money.
Perhaps prominent Alberta and Saskatchewan public figures could be persuaded to make goodwill trips to Ottawa. To hedge our bets on the success of this initiative, and sticking with sports mode, I’m thinking of semi-human celebrities like Gainer the Gopher from the Saskatchewan RoughrIders; Ralph the Dog from the Calgary Stampeders, Harvey the Hound from the Calgary Flames; Punter the anthropomorphic football from the Edmonton Eskimos. and Hunter the dog from the Edmonton Oilers. They could be hosted by Big Joe from the Ottawa Redblacks and Spartacat from the Ottawa Senators. (Since the Redblacks and the Senators sit dead last in their respective leagues, there is every reason to think that the mascots would welcome the opportunity to commiserate with their peers.) If the mascots hit it off, it would pave the way for real people from Ottawa and the West to try meeting one another.
All of these ideas make it unsurprising that Mr. Trudeau wants to take his time to think. He’s got to separate the good ones from the bad ones. By giving him some good ideas, I hope I’ve helped him get a sense of what a bad idea looks like.
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