Marketing a lukewarm product“Catching the virus: It’s better at home.”

The County is of two minds about tourists. There are those who are grateful that income is at last flowing in, and who are prepared to accept the risk of vast numbers of people from the coronavirus hotbeds of Toronto and Montreal infecting County residents. And there are those who deem the risk too great, and would sooner see visitors to the County stay away, even if that means forgoing tourist revenue.

The obvious solution is to make a first-class marketing effort on behalf of the County—but one that uses slogans to reflect the ambivalence that County residents feel. Here are some examples of we have in mind:

“Just bring the virus; we’ll supply the wood ticks.”

“Spread money, not germs.”

“We were the go-to place last year.”

“We’ve cancelled everything—except your visit.”

“Please keep your distance—or we’ll keep it for you.”

“Wear your mask—and pads and skates.”

“Come and have fun—if your conscience will allow.”

“We’re delighted to see you—just don’t breathe around us.”

“Welcome visitors: we know who you are.”

“It’s not you; it’s the other tourists.”

“Come quarantine with us.”

“Catching the virus: It’s better at home.”

“COVID-19: it won’t stop you getting a sunburn.”

“Revisit highway 61, not highway 62”

“Two for one special: Drive-in movie and drivethrough virus test.”

“The County: Learn to love our potholes.”

“Try our highly rated emergency department.”

“HALT: there is no Starbucks anywhere in the County.”

And while we’re at it, let’s come up with new slogans for some familiar places in the County. Such as:

“Visit thriving downtown Wellington.”

“Wellington: Even our beach is sometimes packed.”

“Wellington: Your kids will love looking at our play structure.”

“The Wellington dump: Where the action really happens.”

“Wellington: We gave up counting after we reached 1,700.”

“The fragrances of Wellington: On an east wind it’s mushrooms, on a west wind it’s water treatment.”

“Visit the Roundabout, Picton’s major tourist draw.”

“Picton in summer: Traffic calming in effect.”

“The Royal Hotel: See it before it’s finished.”

“Bank on Bloomfield.”

“Consecon: You can’t drive through it too fast.”

“Carrying Place: Gateway to Quinte West.”

“Rossmore: It’s better over the bridge.”

“Sandbanks? Join the lineup!”

“North Beach: What inferiority complex?”

Jeepers, it’s harder to come up with ideas that I initially thought. Maybe I’ll turn the lukewarm brainstorming over to you.

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca