Out in the open

Fictional headline, 2003: Dalton James Patrick McGuinty Jr., 48 years old, became Ontario’s first male, openly heterosexual Premier. Dalton is married to his wife Terri, a female who is openly heterosexual and together they have four grown, male and female children whose sexual orientation has not, as yet, been publicly declared. Dalton was born in Ottawa to his openly heterosexual parents, Dalton McGuinty Sr., a male, and Elizabeth, a female. He grew up in a Roman Catholic household, is Irish Canadian and has nine male and female siblings, who have not openly discussed their sexual preferences.

Imagine the great hew and cry, if Mr. McGuinty had been introduced to the province of Ontario in this manner. Most of us would be scratching our heads and wondering, “What the H E doublespeak difference does any of that make?” Indeed, why do we need to know, “heterosexual or homosexual” and “male or female”? And yet, here we are.

We’ve watched and waited, since the proroguing of the provincial Legislature, to find out if the homosexual female, the heterosexual female or one of the other candidates would win the vote to become Ontario’s next premier.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not proclaiming to be a saint. I’ve been trained by “the press” to notice a person’s age, sex, height, weight, choice of outfit, hair colour, hair style, manner of speaking, country of origin, gender and their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, males fare a whole lot better in the media than women. We’ve been trained to measure the worth of a woman with a much longer checklist. “She’s an outstanding doctor but her house looks like a cyclone hit it.” Or, “She may be a talented musician but did you see the way her husband/partner was dressed?”

A few months ago, I was asked to speak to a gathering of local women who wanted to learn more about “women in local politics.” Several speakers addressed the issue from their experience as women in local politics. I spoke from a media perspective about how women who hold public office are often identified by their personal traits and private issues. Women seem to have a “this is my obituary” relationship with news writers and producers. That is to say, there isn’t any stone unturned in the reporting including: how old we are; who we are related to; how many children we have—indeed, are those children our biological children or otherwise; why we don’t have children; who we’re married to; who we live with; how we dress, and now, our sexual orientation. We are more interesting as a short-story version of ourselves than what we stand for and what we are capable of accomplishing.

During the early part of my career, in Toronto, I was told I had to use my husband’s last name at work. I had the nerve to ask why, and was told it was proper to let my “male colleagues” know I wasn’t available or interested. Really. I, apparently, was too naïve to understand the world of business as a female. After LOML and I moved to the County, I was often referred to as “the French teacher’s wife” or as “the mother of…”

Because I’m not a lesbian, no one ever referred to my sexual orientation unless I spurned the advances of a determined male. It never occurred to me that my private life was anyone’s business, but I’ve learned otherwise. This past weekend opened my eyes to just how far we’ve haven’t come, baby.

Kathleen Wynne is the incoming Premier of the province of Ontario. She won the title because she is an astute, experienced politician who knows her constituency. She also knows there is a hard row to hoe, but isn’t afraid to get out there and do what has to be done. She is a learned activist who answers questions directly and acts upon her words. In spite of her impeccable credentials, the media refused to let the issue of her private life rest and on numerous occasions throughout the campaign and during the Liberal leadership convention, we were reminded again and again, she is an openly gay female.

“I don’t believe that Ontarians want to talk about the things that divide us, they want to talk about finding solutions.” Kathleen Wynne, November 5, 2012.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca