Ring-a-ding

In my quest to have one awesome day after the other, I find I’m still vexed by little things. Things like people who, very obviously, don’t want to spend time with the person on the “other side of the table” because they’re too busy checking their cellphones. Don’t get me wrong here—this isn’t about LOML and me. Most of the time we don’t even know where our cellphones are, let alone have them turned on when we do have them in our possession. Anyway, I guess I should find it “awesome” that folks are spending time with each other. But it all turns rude and coldhearted the moment the cellphones come out. I wonder why people even bother to “meet” for lunch or coffee to “catch up” when the catching up doesn’t happen unless “catching up” on your messages or surfing the net is part of the deal. Is this what our world has come to? Are we living in a place where a text message or updating a status is more important than the person who is sitting right in front of you? It looks like it. Even when it doesn’t happen to me, I find it takes a little bit of the “awesome” out of a day when folks are so disrespectful.

This isn’t the first time I’ve written about the invasion of the mobile device. I remember being asked to speak at a boardroom gathering a few years ago. I was introduced to the assembly and as I launched into 10 minutes of “what I can bring to the table”, the person next to me tapped away on his Blackberry. He had asked me to speak to his group, yet didn’t have the decency to pretend he was even remotely interested in what I had to say. I stopped speaking several times, to see if he’d notice the “dead air”. He did but, continued texting. When I finished speaking, I thanked the group, sat down and waited for questions. The first question came from “device” guy whose question had been answered quite sufficiently during my talk. Several people giggled nervously. I told him I’d “text” a response to him after the meeting. My point is, and I do have one, what the H E double bars on my android has happened to actually speaking with and listening to people, in person? You know—facial expressions, in-person social activity, eye contact—all of those physical things. Imagine having a conversation without food photos or Four Square or Twitter or texting or speaker phone. A conversation that isn’t punctuated with a rude buzz, catchy tune or old school ring-ading. Just conversation. Imagine the love, folks. I’m so fed up and frustrated with our “failure to communicate” as a society, I’ve got some of my own rules:

• No cellphones, tablets or other devices at my dining table—kitchen or otherwise. I ask our kids, their partners and friends to park their devices before the meal commences, unless one of them is on-call (and I mean serious on-call).

• Don’t call me, then put me on speakerphone. I’ll just hang up.

• Don’t call me while you’re in the bathroom—public or otherwise.

• If we’re at a public gathering, turn your ringer off.

• Don’t even think of bringing your phone out while we’re in a restaurant— same rule as dining at my house.

• If you have to take a call—see “on-call”—ake your call about 10 feet away from me, preferably further away.

• If you do take a call again, see “oncall”— I don’t want to hear your conversation. Nope, not interested. Not at all.

• Unless you like to hear me laugh at you, don’t wear one of those dumb-arse phone-in-your-ear things when you’re with me.

• If you’re with me at a solemn occasion (think wedding, funeral, baptism, trial) don’t even think about taking a picture of the bride or the body or the baby or the accused. Not cool.

Think about how much you’re missing when you’re not missing your text messages and status updates.

theresa@wellingtontimes.ca