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She/her/hers
I think I might be old. Yep, I could be. The thing is, if I don’t look in the mirror I’m just sort of thirty-five-ish. The mirror, however, doesn’t lie. Like any “old” person, I don’t mind the seniors’ discounts or the government pensions. Sometimes I get a bit upset when I’m called “Ma’am” or “Hon” by a person who is younger than my youngest kid. I’m almost over getting all pissy-pants about being treated like an old fool at a checkout. These Pandemic Times have given me loads of space to cruise along, thinking about this being old thing. It’s better than the alternative, or so LOML often reminds me. Also, being restricted in our comings and goings, I’ve had oodles of time to think about all of the new political correctness. I try not to be flummoxed when, upon introductions, people tell me what their “pronouns” are. I get it. Well, I didn’t get it at first, but I get it now. No one wants to be taken for granted, or be judged by their cover, so to speak. I know I never wanted folks to make assumptions about me, and I’m okay with the pronouns I’ve used all of my life. I know people who have never been comfortable with their physical assignment and to them, pronouns are making life better.
Pronouns, right? I don’t think I was ready for the correctness of “pronouns”. I should have anticipated “pronouns”, but I didn’t. It’s so much more than the Miss, Mistress, Miz, Mister issue which, by the way, was a ginormous controversy when I was a whole lot younger, say thirty-five-ish. It was confusing for people who were old, then, like I am, now. Confusing to not be a Mister or a Mistress/Missus or a Miss. Back then, as I watched friends and colleagues struggle with those titles, I promised myself I wouldn’t be an old fart about cultural changes. I vowed I would try to stay current. I promised myself I’d be okay with new approaches to old problems. For the most part, I’ve done the reading and I’ve talked things out with other people. I’ve asked questions and I’ve tried to hear both sides of the issues. Pronouns, eh? So, about a week ago I received a business email. The sender added “her” pronouns after her name. I wasn’t surprised —yeah, I was surprised. She’s a much, much younger person and this is the way things are now. I’m not a stick-in-the-mud, either. I answered the email, but neglected to add my pronouns. It’s just second nature to me to answer an email in a timely fashion. But, I should be been more thoughtful. She/her/hers set an example. It was a lesson given, and I didn’t pass the test.
She/her/hers. That’s me, just in case you didn’t know. You couldn’t have known, because I have never made that perfectly clear to anyone. I am she/her/hers for those of you who thought you knew me. I can’t think of a time when anyone has ever made a mistake about my pronouns, but if we’re all striving to create—and live in—an inclusive environment, it’s important for each of us to get with the programme. Using the wrong pronouns can be offensive. Ignoring a person’s pronouns is disrespectful and oppressive. Affirming another’s pronouns helps that person feel comfortable with their identity and appearance. I’m probably not going to remember to let people know who I am, but I’m going to make an effort to foster an inclusive environment. And, to be completely honest, I may not ask my very close friends and my immediate family for their pronouns. Or should I? As many times as I’ve said, “If you know me and many of you don’t”, I suppose the same would hold true for my immediate family and friends. Am I right? You know I am. I shall ask, in some way or another, “What are your pronouns?”
She/her/hers. For those of you who know me and for all of you who thought you did, I am she/her/hers.
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