Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda

So, here’s the deal. I don’t know how long we’ll be isolated/ locked-down/restricted with the COVID-19 pandemic, and all of its variants. What I do know is when the pandemic is done most of us will wonder why we didn’t take advantage of our “down” time to learn some new tricks. I know you know what I mean. Years ago a young friend took a parental leave, and now wonders why he didn’t spend some of the time, while his kid was napping, learning how to play the bagpipes. Yeah, you read that right. Bagpipes. Come to think of it, I could have “mastered” the bagpipes in the two years I’ve been sitting around on my McDuff waiting for the world to move off the back burner. The thing is, I do love the skirl of the bagpipes and I’m pretty sure the neighbours wouldn’t have minded, much. I do have to make this point: I’m not completely disappointed in the things I’ve tackled since the pandemic porch door slammed shut way back in March of 2020. But, like all y’all, I do have a few “coulda, shoulda, woulda” moments swirling around in my brain. I’ll bet you all have some of those moments, too.

Seriously, I coulda learned to play the bagpipes. I’m not sure piping was high on my list of lessons to learn, but I shoulda given them a skirl and a whirl. I shoulda spent some quality time with the bodhrán which takes up space on a small sidetable in the dining room. I wanted the bodhrán. When it was on sale at a Belle-vegas music shop, I didn’t hesitate to tell LOML to bring one home and he did. I figured I had oodles of time to get the beat of that thing, but I didn’t bother. Oh, I Youtube’d lessons and spent a good half hour making bodhrán noise one afternoon, but that’s about it. Later today, perhaps I’ll pick it up and give it a good thump! Then there’s the issue of my ukuleles, plural. One I’ve had for ages and I sorta know how to play and the other is begging to be built and painted. I coulda been playing the bodhrán and the ukulele, maybe not at the same time, but definitely to the same tune. I shoulda done some music lessons in this downtime. I didn’t. I coulda. I woulda, but I didna. The issue I have with musical inclinations is I want to be an expert within a week, or less, if that’s possible, thank you very much. I don’t expect that facility with any of the other hobbies and interests I undertake, but I do expect to be a decent musician without practice. I coulda been a virtuoso. I shoulda practised. I mighta surprised myself. I didna.

Shoulda, coulda, woulda. I coulda been able to run a 10K but I shoulda spent more time working on the “Couch to 10K” programme I downloaded in the early part of 2018, or was it 2016? Who knows? If I had followed the C210K plan I coulda been the next Joanie Benoit, if Joanie Benoit ran 10Ks, but woulda had to face the reality of putting my mind to it. I actually believe I could run a 10K if I were being chased by a hungry, wild animal. Maybe I woulda had to scare a wild animal with my musical talents. Me playing the bagpipes would scare a hungry bear away. And, while I’m back on the music train, I’ve always wanted to “play” the harmonica. We don’t own a harmonica, but if we did, I coulda learned to play. I’m pretty sure of that. I coulda played the harmonica while “running” or hiking or painting. How hard could it be to play a “harmonica”? I shoulda traded the bodhrán for a harmonica. Yeah, that’s the concert ticket.

Actually, what I do enjoy, and thankfully won’t regret “not getting around to”, is hiking and painting. Not at the same time, of course, although I coulda hiked to a place to paint if I woulda wanted to do it. As a matter of fact, I suppose I shoulda hiked with my paints and canvases. I understand some artists do that. I woulda produced some amazing paintings. Not sure how you transport a wet canvas back across an icy trail, but the resulting mess woulda made the painting more abstract, dontcha think? And then?

Well, and then all I’m saying is we just don’t know how long this Pandemic Stuff is going to last, so if you’ve got a hankering for taxidermy or the concertina or knitting or baking bread or collecting stamps or belly-dancing, it’s time to get onto it. You may not have a long time to practise, but I wouldna know.

Be safe. It’s a raging storm-a-geddon out there.
theresa@wellingtontimes.ca