Columnists
Tempest in a (Church) Tea Pot
The folks at St. William’s Church in Demorestville weren’t expecting this. The historic Church has announced it will hold a Valentine’s tea and sandwiches event (“Meet your Sweetie for Tea” next February 12, a Saturday, from 11:30 until 1:30; five dollars a ticket), and already the drumbeat of protest is getting loud.
The forthcoming event was swiftly denounced by an ad hoc group calling itself PASTPEC, short for “People Against Stupid Traditions in Prince Edward County.”
Loretta Blenkinsop is a spokesperson for the group. “This whole tea and sandwiches bit has gotten way of hand,” she says. “There is no indication that the shrimps from the shrimp paste used in the sandwiches have been raised sustainably. We don’t know whether the cucumbers in the sandwiches will be locally grown. They could have come from a grocery store— and who knows before that, some factory in Detroit, perhaps. How do we know whether the tea will be purchased in a fair trade arrangement?
“Plus, if the past is anything to go by, the burden of the work will fall on women. It’s hard work cutting sandwiches into triangles to feed a hundred people, never mind fishing enough of three types of pickles out of pickle jars; but given enough time, some men can be taught to do those things.
“I’m also worried that their volunteers are almost entirely over the age of 80. Where is the representation of young people and other groups comprising our diverse community?
PASTPEC maintains the whole affair is out of sync with the times. “Why should we be doing anything to celebrate a day in which women are expected to flutter their eyes demurely and blush as droves of hitherto secret suitors disclose their affections? Women are strong and empowered these days: we don’t need to perpetuate an ancient stereotype. And let’s not forget about the poor women who don’t get a Valentine’s sandwich—with or without a pickle—offered to them as a gesture of love. How do you think that makes them feel.
The really big worry for PASPTEC is that this Valentine’s tea event could damage the County’s “brand.” Says Blenkinsop “We’d be laughed out of hipsterdom if they found out about this event in Toronto. Small businesses catering to hipsters in the County would be ruined; it would be worse than the pandemic.”
So she and her group plan to raise the matter at the first Council meeting in September and ask that the event be banned, And they already started making the case to our councillors. We have asked around, and here’s what we have heard. At least two councilllors are supportive of PASTPEC’s’ objectives, saying the event might inconvenience people living on Rednersville Road, who collectively carry most of the County’s property tax burden and therefore should be deferred to at every opportunity. One councillor was prepared to support the Church if he could be satisfied that there was no negative impact on the usage of Wellington Beach. Several councillors are said be worried about the impact of the event on the County’s road maintenance buget; “driving on County road 49 weighed down by a heavy lunch is a recipe for pothole disaster,” one was heard to say.
Some favour asking staff to develop a church teas policy to provide a context for their decision, and to forestall controversy over similar future events. Other councillors want a broad public consultation before a decision is made, Some are concerned that the issue might prompt yet another go-round of the size of Council debate, and a few cling to the idea that we’ve always had church teas and always will—end of discussion.
A spokesperson for the Church said “We don’t really understand what all this fuss is about. We’ve been running this event for over a hundred years and the clock is ticking down. If they’d like to help unload pickle jars, they’re more than welcome to join us. We only roll up our tent for blizzards and pandemic.”
There’s the fighting St. William’s spirit!
One question to end with. How can you raise any money when you’re offering all you can eat triangular crustless potted shrimp and cucumber sandwiches, three types of pickles, home-made cookies and a big pot of tea—for five bucks?
WTF and you know what I mean. Who the hell are these upstarts? I wont even call them local upstarts as if they could appreciate the local customs here for hundreds of years. Yes, church teas, fall fairs, womens institutes, etc. Maybe you guys should keep your mouths shut, try to fit in, enjoy the quaint customs, meet beautiful older women and their customs, not yours. How dare you? Go back to Toronto and enjoy your , millennial BS. I just couldnt believe what I was reading. I thought it was farce. Defacing the county’s brand? Who are you. You just got here. Why move to the country. You need to be in the city where you can purchase these overpriced delicacies you mention. Women over 80! You have no respect for women period ….to have said such things. You dont fit in, go home.