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The Battle of Trent River
Everyone has some sort of story about an incident in which the police get involved unnecessarily. The other day, I was told of a 5- year-old who was dutifully schooled to call 911 if an adult “bothered” her. Well, the child was staying with her grandmother and they were horsing around with the water hose. Grandma sprayed her, which really bothered her, so the next thing you know the local police are in the driveway looking to rescue a child in need of protection.
I have some sympathy for the police, who need to stay on top of, and still leave themselves capacity to respond to, real emergencies, without having to be bothered chasing down false emergencies. Indeed, the County OPP detachment reported it received over 100 calls during the August long weekend—“domestic disturbances, Liquor Licence Act calls, noise complaints, traffic complaints and enforcement and motor vehicle collisions.” So numerous are the calls in regard to frauds such as the infamous Canada Revenue Agency scam that the OPP is only interested in talking to you if you’re a victim of actual fraud rather than a victim of attempted fraud: “Although your intentions are appreciated, it is these calls which are at times restricting the OPP’s ability to take calls for service from the public that require a police response”. (At the same time, the OPP encourage people to call in and report an impaired driver, noting that impaired driving is a crime like any other crime).
The call that takes the cake was received by the OPP the other day from a 15-year-old from Mississauga, complaining that her parents were forcing her to go away with them on a family holiday in a cottage on the Trent River. As reported in the Toronto Star, OPP officers visited the cottage and interviewed the family. “There was no real emergency,” they concluded. “The occupants confirmed they were all on a family vacation.” However, I imagine that describing the balance of the holiday as a “vacation” would be a bit of a stretch in light of the recriminations that likely took place after the police left.
“This appeared to be a case of a teenager being a teenager,” said the OPP spokesperson, declaring the matter closed. “Although she perceived this as a real issue, it was not an appropriate use of 911.” The statement added, somewhat prissily, that “Calls such as this tie up police resources which could impact the safety of others in the community who are in real need of assistance.” But give the OPP a citation for diplomacy. They did not challenge the teenager’s subjective impression that she was being persecuted. Someone in that shop must have either been a teenager once, or known one. The last thing anyone wants to tell a teenager is that her angst is trivial.
I suspect that after this incident, the teen in question might encounter some new difficulties in such matters as cell phone privileges and curfew hours. But you have to give her credit for her gumption. What better way to make her parents realize that she has got better things to do than enjoy the forced camaraderie of games of Monopoly, wiener roasts or carp fishing expeditions than to invoke the authority of the OPP? And while she might have lost the Battle of Trent River, she might have strengthened her position in the Campaign for Teen Autonomy. Her parents may be bloodied from this year’s fight and decide next year that the family is all going together to the local tattoo parlour and then a Drake concert; or better still, they may be softened up enough to let her stay at home on her own and have a ‘few’ friends over while her parents and siblings take a holiday lining up to get into Sandbanks Park.
As a more general matter, does the OPP comment about a teenager “being a teenager” presage a new defence? Whatever my age or offence, can I now claim the right to exoneration because I am just a ‘human being being a human being’? Are we more clear or less clear as to the point at which we become answerable for our own actions? Should our favourite teen have been charged with juvenile mischief? Or her parents with forcible confinement? Maybe they should just be asked to take turns spraying one another with a hose—no matter how bothersome it may be.
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