The etiquette of the pancake breakfast

As they have done for eons, the Friends of the Wellington Heritage Museum are holding their self-styled “Famous Canada Day Fundraiser Breakast” on Canada Day at the Town Hall.

It will run from 8-10:30; it will cost $8 for a regular breakfast and $6 for a small breakfast, with a dollar saved on an “early bird” breakfast at an unspecified time; feature pancakes from scratch, syrup, County sausage, strawberry rhubarb compote, coffee and tea; and offer live entertainment. (I am part of the live entertainment, so let my conflict be noted).

This year the Wellington Rescue is also holding a p a n c a k e breakfast, on Saturday the 23rd, eight days beforehand, and also at the Town Hall. It will also cost $8. It will, however, feature eggs as well as pancakes, sausages, juice, coffee and tea. It starts at 8:30, and there are no early bird or small breakfast discounts.

Now admittedly, there are differences between the breakfasts, and they are on distinct weekends and different days, so that tourists may not be here for both events. And there is a short, simple philosophical maxim that states “a man who is tired of pancakes is tired of life”; in which case, the case is closed.

But the question nags at me a little bit—and I have deliberately not tried to ask either breakfast sponsor its views, or even to ask if express or tacit permission was given one to the other—whether for the Rescue to hold a pancake breakfast so close to the Museum breakfast is cutting in ever so slightly on the Museum’s signature event, which it repeats at Pumpkinfest.

It’s possible, you could argue, that a person might get the two breakfasts confused, or only have the stomach for pancakes once a season, or only have the patience to donate via pancakes every so often. Certainly, if the Rescue had tried to pip the museum to the post and book for Canada Day, the museum would be well within its rights to ask for a first right of refusal. And even on Canada Day itself, our potential rivals for revenue the Anglican and United Churches are scrupulously careful to offer complementary services: the Anglican sandwich lunch, bake sale and tea can dovetail quite handily with the United Church strawberry shortcake, as I can attest from field testing the proposition. (In addition to the churches, the Legion is offering its regular Friday supper on June 29 and then its chicken barbecue on the afternoon of Saturday June 30; while on Canada Day itself there will be Rotary ribs in the park between 1:30 and 2:30. So it’s all linked, in a loose sort of way, at least for those with the stronger sort of stomach.) So where is the line to be drawn? Is the Rescue going offside? Are we forced to choose between saving our heritage and saving lives at sea?

Take another example. On Wednesday July 4, the South Bay United Church is hosting a fish fry and craft sale, with tickets priced at $15; and yet on Saturday July 7, its neighbour the Mariner’s Park Museum is also hosting a fish fry dinner, costing $20, but with music by the Frere Brothers. Is that one still closer to the line? It might appear to be at first; but then again fresh fish, like the strawberry, has a limited season whereas the pancake is a yearround delicacy. The issue is more complex than it might appear.

Do we now have so many fundraisers in the County muscling in on one another’s territory that we are going to have to come up with some sort of adjucation system? Is the president of the Federated Women’s Insititutes going to have sit in some darkened back room and listen to supplicants before she decides, godfather-like, which of two organizations has a clear path to a bean supper for a two-week period and a 20-kilometre radius? I hope not; and I imagine she would be of the same view.

The solution seems to be to be pretty simple. Let the market sort it out. First of all, I find it hard to imagine a world in which there are too many pancake breakfasts, fish fries, strawberry socials, bean suppers or what have you; and if there are, well then let the better warrior survive. Second, those who have qualms about attending back-to-back events will vote with their feet, and those—if any— who are perceived to have muscled in on the territory of a similar event will feel it in their box office receipts. And if they sell out anyway, see point number one.

Bring it on!

David Simmonds’s writing is also available at www.grubstreet.ca.