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The kids are back in town
And then? Well, and then there are columns that just don’t want to be put on paper! Last week was a huge challenge of my ability to handle stress and a crush of emotions. Our oldest son, and his family, relocated to Ontario from British Columbia. In particular, they have chosen to live in Prince Edward County. We couldn’t be happier to have them here. It’s the first time we’ve had a grandchild living within hugging distance. But more to the point, they will be living with LOML and me until they find a home of their own. Every parent knows this might happen, a child coming home. LOML and I have been concerned with making them feel “at home” in our home. It’s been many years since we’ve had our own children living with us—and now we have a child and his child and his partner under our roof. Keeping out of their way is going to be the biggest challenge. As parents, they have a way of dealing with their daughter, our granddaughter. Their way is probably a whole lot better than the way we did things in the olden days. Even so, it’s hard to keep out of it.
Like I said, it’s been more than a few years since we’ve had children living at home. What became obvious, almost immediately, LOML and I will have to unlearn some of our empty-nester habits. When the kids were just visiting, it was easy enough to put our bad habits on hold for a few days or a couple of weeks. This is different. We know the kids will be looking for a home of their own, but that could take a while. In the meantime they’re at home with us, the parental units. If you’re an empty-nester, I know you’ve developed some habits that can only be described as “who the heck is gonna see us” habits. We have a few of those. A few of them I won’t talk about, but to start, we often eat dinner rather late. Actually, we eat whenever we feel like eating, or when one or the other of us decides they could eat a horse and chase the driver. For the last meal of our day, we often find ourselves sitting in front of the television, watching Jeopardy, balancing a plate of food on our knee and shouting the question/answer at the contestants. This wasn’t acceptable behaviour when our children were at home—eating in front of the television—and now they’re back with one of their own. Dining anywhere but in the dining room or kitchen nets us “the look”. All of a sudden, we’re back to setting an example, for a grandchild. Example setting doesn’t stop with where we decide to eat dinner. Nope.
We mostly live on the main floor of this house, except to shower or soak in the tub in the big bathroom on the second floor. Without a need to set an example, we’ve been known to bypass door closing in the upstairs bathroom because, seriously, who’s going to see us. Right? And, on another note, sometimes we don’t wash the dishes until we’ve run out of dishes. With extra people in the house, the need to wash dishes becomes an urgent situation a little bit faster. When the kids were living at home, washing dishes was one of the chores they were assigned on a rotational basis. Since we once preached the need for a clear countertop, now we’re practicing what we once advocated. In the olden days we sometimes had to remind our children of their kitchen obligations at the top of our lungs with threats of allowance rollbacks. Allowances aren’t doled out for deeds done. Allowances aren’t rewards. But what do I know?
I do know it’s nice to have our children, and their children, at home. We couldn’t be happier to be practicing grandparents. LOML and I have been trying to accommodate their lifestyle. To that end, being the kind, welcoming parents we’ve always been, we make sure the local real estate section is folded neatly by their coffee mugs in the morning. Ain’t life grand!
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