The twain meets

They say you can divide the world into two types of people: those who want to find out what the weather is about to do, and those who don’t see much, if any, point in doing so.

In an unnamed household with which I am intimately familiar, there are those who, quite understandably, express bafflement at why anyone needs to bother checking The Weather Network as often as four times a day, when the weather is just something about which you can’t do a darn thing. And yet, surprisingly, there are others in that household who express even greater bewilderment at why anyone might consider it necessary to check the CBC News Network as often as six times a day when, it is claimed, the news is just something about which you can’t do a darn thing either.

But the sun is rising on the western horizon. The twain are meeting.

CBC and The Weather Network have announced a content sharing agreement. The National will now carry forecasts from The Weather Network instead of its own forecasts. The Weather Network meteorologists will also give regular news updates throughout the day from the CBC News Network. And The Weather Network will carry CBC news items about weather events and trends to the estimated 1.5 million Canadians who check with The Weather Network every day, but bypass the CBC. The one-year trial arrangement will go into effect on December 8.

Officially, the marriage is made in heaven: “two brands that are strong in what they do, coming together to provide even better content and a better experience to viewers coast to coast,” says Maureen Rogers, the managing director of The Weather Network. But there is a bit of a backstory. According to a CBC representative, job cuts that took effect last April (not to be confused with the further 400 cuts that will be announced by next March) were intended to leave CBC with only regional reporters to provide its national weather coverage. But the system wasn’t cost effective; and so this new arrangement “came to us as a great solution.”

Poor old CBC, trying to put a brave face on things despite indignities, some committed by others (such as the loss of Hockey Night in Canada to Rogers), others selfinflicted (such as the handling of the Jian Ghomeshi affair).

So how does CBC go about building some even greater value from its relationship with The Weather Network? One obvious tack is to further integrate, or even amalgamate the two. Or CBC could take care of most of its staffing cuts in one fell swoop and sell its News Network outright. “WNN”—the Weather News Network: It has a nice ring to it.

CBC might also want to contemplate licensing some of its behind-the-scenes action to TLC as a reality show—I Lost Another 400 Jobs—to be broadcast alongside Extreme Cheapskates and My Strange Addiction. After all, the CBC’s own star meteorologist, Claire Martin—perhaps tiring of a fawning Peter Mansbridge, or perhaps seeing the writing on the wall—chose to leave the CBC earlier this year to become managing director of a Vancouver company that produces a hit show documenting the exploits of a local liquidation store owner. With that sort of background, I’m sure her company would appreciate the opportunity to make CBC a proposal.

And if the CBC is really serious about leveraging its content—now I’m beginning to sound like I know what I’m talking about—it could make some of its archival footage available to, for example, the History channel; which in turn could loan the CBC some of its re-enactment troopers, who could restage world events here in Ontario, and save the CBC the cost of sending foreign correspondents hither and yon. Or perhaps the CBC could license out its on-air personalities. Rex Murphy, for instance, could do a reprise of his regular Thursday national news rant with Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street. George Stroumboulopoulos could be hired out to Rogers Sportsnet to host Hockey Night in Canada. Oh yes, that’s right: he’s already left CBC to do just that. Talk about landing on your feet.

As for me, I’m counting the days until December 8, when both factions of that anonymous household will be eagerly tuning in, grateful that their differing points of view have now been harmonized. After all, there’ll be no need to watch The Weather Network any more, and we can just check the CBC News Network 10 times a day. I’m sure the transition will be quite painless.

Excuse me, did someone just mutter something to the effect that I have it all backwards; and that someone better learn how to do without the CBC News Network and start liking The Weather Network? Hey, I’m trying to write a column here!

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca