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The Ukulele Spiel
The big wave has finally crested. The humble ukulele has had its day as the go-to instrument for musical beginners and recreational players.
The trigger? A report earlier this week that at the time of his accident (in which he flipped his Land Rover and injured a couple of peasants, but was fortunately unhurt himself), Prince Philip had ukulele music playing on his automobile’s stereo system. “It’s not hard to put two and two together,” said a police source who refused to be identified.
“Most people can’t stand the stuff—myself included,” said our source. “It irritates them to no end and fuels road rage. But a significant minority of people are entranced by it and it lulls them into a kind of stupor. I expect that’s the defence that the Prince will mount. But either way, we’re going to have to ban ukulele music from automobiles.” Which could, the source concedes, mark the end of the ukulele as a popular beginner’s instrument.
Rumours of the ukulele’s impending decline have been met with widespread approval. “For a while there, you couldn’t venture down the street without hearing a ukulele orchestra plunking out Red River Valley,” complains one Wellington resident. Said a Picton man, “I started having nightmares in which I saw a picture of Louis Armstrong strumming a ukulele instead of holding a trumpet when he played What a Wonderful World. A Hillier senior also noted “I was sick of feeling like I had to do a hula dance every time I heard Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
The ukulele was initially a breath of fresh air. It had advantages over the guitar. It was cheaper, and easier to carry and tune. Plus, you could go into a music store and be reasonably certain that no one was sitting around trying to play Stairway to Heaven on the ukulele, or enter a public square without worrying that some Bob Dylan wannabe was singing Like a Rolling Stone to the strains of a ukulele.
If the ukulele’s time is up, what is going to take its place? The guitar again? No, people are still tired of it. The mandolin? Mandolin orchestras abounded during the early part of the last century. No, it will have to be something fresher. How about the recorder, or the melodica, or the harmonica? The problem with these instruments is that they all use the mouth, making it difficult, and in some cases impossible, to sing and play at the same time.
So what else does that leave? The autoharp; the shruti box; the banjo? Not if I can help it. I’d take the ukulele as my poison of choice if faced with any of those alternatives. To put the point politely, I don’t think the drone of the shruti box would enhance any rendition of You are my sunshine.
I think the instrument that is the up and comer is the glockenspiel. The glockenspiel has had a bum rap, earning most of its reputation as a child’s hammering toy. But serious musicians have employed it. Bruce Springsteen used it on his famous Born to Run album, as did the Beatles on Being for the benefit of Mr. Kite. Radiohead and Rush have used it too. And it can be seen in US college football games when the band strikes up between plays.
In its most basic form, the glockenspiel consists of one set of eight or 12 notes comprising a scale and a scale and a half respectively. While that sounds limiting, the full dress glockenspiel used by a marching band can span some three and a half octaves.
I think it’s safe to say that the full potential of the glockenspiel has yet to be realized. Blues artists, for instance, are taking notice. Chicago blues artist Mad Dog Higgins is reported to have investigated the glockenspiel and ordered one with a custom flattened 7th key. He is reported to have said “You start to play that thing, you really feel blue immediately.” Canadian hip hop entrepreneur Duke is considering licensing a series of glockenspiels that will bear his imprimatur. A serious revival of John Philip Sousa marching music is said to be underway, which would doubtless boost the demand for glockenspiels
For me, the day can’t come soon enough when the plunkety-plunk sound of the ukulele is replaced by the fresh tones and hammered bells of the glockenspiel. I can picture the Wellington glockenspiel ensemble marching in the Pumpkinfest parade—even if it has to follow behind the County Ukulele Band. Louis Armstrong would only have to turn over in his grave once.
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