The winter from hell

Of this winter season 03 and 04
Terrible stories are told
Of the damage inflicted upon this poor burgh
By the wind and the snow and the ice and the cold.

On the weather channel the red warnings flash
Every ten minutes advice
It’s wind mixed with cold mixed with ice mixed with snow
To join the snow and the cold and the wind and the ice.

I’m up bright and early, my front door won’t budge
The snow’s drifted so much I’m pinned
You can’t beat all four of them fighting as one
The snow and the ice and the cold and the wind.

So I head to the garage and start up my car
But there’s nowhere the darn thing can go
The door’s frozen solid and won’t come unstuck
Thanks to wind and the cold and the ice and the snow.

I make it outside where my shovel is buried
In snowdrifts not ten minutes old
I’ll be shovelling all day till I freeze and grow numb
In the wind and the ice and the snow and the cold.

I start flinging the snow into banks six feet high
But I’m paying too heavy a price
’cos it just rolls back down where it came from before
To the cold and the snow and the wind and the ice.

And when I look over the work I have done
I’m left both annoyed and chagrined
’cos all I’ve exposed is a thick sheet of ice
To the snow and the cold and the ice and the wind.

At the end of my driveway a fresh treat awaits
The snowplow’s been by once or twice
Left me the heaviest lumps he can find
From the wind and the cold and the snow and the ice.

So I head off on foot for my favourite café
Their java will warm me I know
But the furnace ain’t working and they’re shivering too
From the ice and the wind and the cold and the snow.

As I step on the sidewalk, I slip on my duff
In emerg I’m a sight to behold
The latest indignity wrought by the gods
Of the wind and the snow and the ice and the cold.

The oldtimers tell us its par for the course
Winter’s just not very nice
If you ask me my views, it’s a winter from hell
Thanks to snow and the wind and the cold and the ice.