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Too soon and too late
My dad used to say, “Too soon old. Too late smart.” I’m sure this old saying was inspired by Benjamin Franklin’s, “Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late”. Anyhoo, the first time I can remember my dad speaking those words I thought it sounded very grown-up. I wished I’d been the person who came up with that phrase. These days LOML and I press it into service whenever we have to put our heads together to sort things out, especially tech stuff. My dad was an introspective kinda guy. He was a bit quiet, a whole lot aware of the world, and I would say he was a thoughtful guy. In his “day” he saw, heard and did a lot, but—for the most part—managed to keep his feelings to himself. I believe the last time I heard Dad say he was too old and not about to get too smart, he was “fussed” about the answering machine on the telephone table in the hallway. He felt he didn’t need it. We didn’t want him to miss important phone calls. He grumbled he didn’t know which buttons to push. Old time craftspeople, like my dad, had to learn to use a computer, a bank card, leave voice messages, remember PINs for the bank cards and become aware, and wary, of people who were frauds and scammers. My dad, who could fly blind, fix just about anything, design and build homes, draw like an artist, swim like a fish, skate like a pro anddance like his feet were “stardust” one dayfelt he was just too old to learn new tricks. He just stopped.
In the last 20 years I’ve had a lot of thoseDad moments when my understanding ofwho/what/where/when/why sometimes ar-rives a bit later than would be consideredhelpful. The thing is we’re all going to growold but many of us will choose to ignore thelittle lightbulb when it flickers or turn awaywhen the gears spin or not pay heed whenour intuition kicks in. As far as I’m concerned, the whole “too soon old, too late smart” is ahandy excuse to get out of doing things. For most of us, it’s never really too late to pause,think about what happened or what’s aboutto happen and try to make good choices. If you happen to be stuck in the “I’m too old to change” or “I’m too old to learn” stage of your life, I feel your pain. I’ve been there. But I didn’t like being angry, accusatory, resigned, sedentary and frustrated. I’d put in a lot ofyears and felt I deserved all of those things, to be old and set in my ways. These days my good friend, Paul, laughs when I tell him I’mtoo old for this sh*t, especially when he’s adding another ten pounds to the bar and tells me to do 12 to 15 reps. I laugh and do what I can. I make jokes about brittle bones. I marvel at the wrinkles I’ve accumulated. Every day I have to remind myself to get up, get dressed, be creative and to keep moving.
Age is a number. It’s loads of candles on the cake. It’s a brother bringing a fire extinguisher to your birthday dinner. It’s a friend bringing a tube of Voltaren as a birthday gift. Sometimes age is the wee aches and pains because parts get worn out with use. Sometimes age means there’s gonna be a lot of popping, crackling and groaning involved in standing up or just moving around. In spite of this, I am embracing the “too soon old” because, frankly, I didn’t think age would get here so quickly. I may have switched from bodybuilding to functional fitness, but I’m still working out, I’m still hiking and I’m still doing the physical things a person has to do to keep the household running smoothly. Maybe the “smart” part came a bit late, but really, is it ever too late to smarten up? And here I am, embracing the too soon old and celebrating the too late smart. Laughing makes it all feel better, by the way.
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