Tracking Woozles

Does anyone remember the story of Pooh, Piglet and their hunt for a Woozle? It’s the subject of Chapter III in the classic children’s book, Winnie The Pooh, written by A.A. Milne and published in 1926. I’m thinking that it has some contemporary relevance.

Pooh and Piglet, of course, are buddies. One day, Piglet observes Pooh walking round and round in a circle and “thinking” (to use the author’s own words). He asks Pooh what he is doing. Pooh replies that he is tracking something—just what that something is will have to remain unanswered until he catches up to it. Piglet then asks Pooh if the tracks could be from a Woozle. Pooh replies unambiguously that it could be: one can never tell with paw marks.

And then Pooh comes to a stop, examines the tracks more closely and becomes puzzled. “There seem to be two animals now,” says Pooh. Piglet accepts Pooh’s request to accompany him, in case the animals they encounter are hostile. Pooh and Piglet follow the tracks, which encircle a stand of larch trees. Pooh stops, and says “Look! The tracks. A third animal has joined the other two!” On closer sleuthing, Pooh determines that the tracks look different, so that there could be two Woozles and one Wizzle, or perhaps even vice versa. They resolve to press on.

But then Pooh bends down to observe again. This time, he sees four sets of tracks in front of them, probably three Woozles and a Wizzle. All of this unnerves Piglet, who remembers an urgent task that requires him to leave immediately. But just as Piglet is about to leave, Pooh spots his pal Christopher Robin sitting high up in old oak tree. Christopher Robin calls Pooh a silly old bear and wonders what Pooh has been doing. He has watched as Pooh has gone round the stand twice by himself, and then with Piglet, and then a fourth time.

At this juncture—long after even the youngest reader has got the joke—the, as it were, shoe drops and Pooh realizes he has been following his and Piglet’s own tracks. He remonstrates with himself that he has been a Bear of No Brain at All. Christopher Robin assures him that he is the Best Bear in All the World, and reminds him that it is almost lunchtime. And so the chapter ends on this happy note.

The contemporary analogy should be obvious to you by now, so perhaps I should just stop here.

However, on further reflection—as this paper purports to offer not only hard hitting news coverage but also insightful analysis—I should press the point home. While I don’t claim the parallel is exact, I do suggest that there is a considerable similarity between the actions of Pooh and those of our band of merry councillors down at Shire Hall as they attempt to grapple with the problem that will not slink off into a corner somewhere and die: the size of council. This issue has chewed up so much time and energy over the years, it has gotten to the point where people are failing to recognize the imprint of their own tracks as they lap around the larch stand in circles of indecision. It seems like eons ago when the question could simply be asked whether a smaller council might be a more effective deliberative body.

It is indeed a more slippery question than might appear at first glance. It is not just a matter of finding a magic number. It entails grappling with representation by population, with the appropriate urban/rural balance; and therefore with the number of wards, and with whether and how historic ward boundaries should be respected. I am sure some councillors have pondered adopting Piglet’s strategy, and might be making contingency plans to discover urgent dental appointments. But the issue comes with a history, and we are all stuck with it. We can’t avoid it merely because it is slippery. That is why, as they say, they pay councillors the big bucks. The issue has already been presented to the OMB, which deferred a decision to council, which deferred a decision to the Citizens’ Assembly, the report from which the previous council failed to adopt. This council has gotten to the point of encouraging a multiplicity of suggestions and, from those, drawing up a shortlist for further analysis on July 16 prior to additional public consultation. Staff have drawn up an impossibly complex spreadsheet by which council can evaluate the options. But they also pay councillors the big bucks to be able to segregate the real issues from the Woozle tracks.

So I say to council: You are the Best Councillors in All the World. Keep your eye on the difficult decision, and see it through. Once you’ve done so, Piglet, Pooh and Christopher Robin are expecting you to join them for lunch. You may even be joined by a Woozle—and a Wizzle.

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca