Trading in stereotypes

This coming weekend, County food entrepreneur Darren Frump will celebrate the opening of his daring new gastronomic bastion—right in the heart of downtown Toronto.

The Duck, as it will be called, is to be a County-themed restaurant/pub. It will appeal principally to visitors from the County who find themselves, for reasons best left unstated, in downtown Toronto. “We know that they’re only going to be in Toronto because they have to be, not because they want to, so we’re going to try and recreate that County eating experience for them,” explains Frump.

The Duck—which will be decorated with waterfowl hunting memorabilia, and will follow the style of Frump’s successful County ventures— will feature an ‘à la viande’ menu of steaks, ribs, chicken, burgers and wieners, all sourced from local supermarkets and cooked on the barbeque. Its wine and spirits menu includes, but not limited to, 17 varieties of draft beer, all brewed more than 100 kilometres from Toronto. Salad items will be restricted to garnishes and deep-fried pickles. Desserts will be free to those who have room for them, and will be comprised of ice-cream sundaes from local dairy bar recipes.

However, Frump is also counting on having a limited appeal to some Toronto locals “We want to be able to service some of those non-County Toronto locals who may feel that they are cool enough to step inside and get our vibe.”

But even garnering that limited appeal will be a challenge. “Those Toronto folks aren’t quite as sophisticated as I thought they might be,” notes Frump. “For example, when we opened up to test market the place with locals, all we were asked was ‘where’s the gluten-free and the vegan?’, and I’m in their faces saying ‘Come on, this is the County we’re talking about here. Loosen up and try something new.’ I’m sure they don’t want to see us fail or anything, but let’s face it: this is the place for County people to see and be seen, and we don’t want a bunch of Toronto locals embarrassing our County guests. I guess we could try seating them in a designated area.”

Frump does intend to reach out to locals as best he can, however. He plans to hold what he calls “Indianapolis nights,” which will feature televised highlights from the Indy-car racing circuit. “I heard some of the locals talking about how much they’re into the Indy scene,” he says, “so I’m cautiously optimistic. I just hope they don’t blanch at the crash replays.” He’s also contemplating inviting County musicians to play at an as yet undesignated music night. But, he notes, he would want to avoid a situation where a local felt free to pick up a synthesizer and attempt to join County musicians playing the Merle Haggard songbook, causing clients to turn white and ask for their bills.

Frump admits that he has had a hard time adapting to Toronto. Take the lack of parking space. “We think it’s getting bad in Wellington,” he states, “but Main Street is a Sunday picnic in comparison to this.” Besides, he says, “No one here drives a halfton; in fact, they don’t drive anything with a flatbed. They even give parking priority to little kids’ play cars, but I’ve only seen adults driving them.” He is also puzzled by attire choices. “They don’t seem to realize it’s disrespectful not to wear a baseball cap,” he says, “and they always wear plaid shirts and jeans that are one size too tight. They must wash their clothes so often they shrink: do they not know about water conservation?”

Frump does want his County-based clientele to learn to understand, if not necessarily adopt, some of the local customs. To that end he is planning a series of happy-hour sessions with a serious message, such as ‘using your smartphone while you walk,’ ‘what traffic signals are for,’ and ‘tricks for avoiding eye contact.’

“We even planned originally to decorate the walls with the types of jokes that Torontonians hate, like ‘Toronto’s number one attraction: the eastbound 401,’ or ‘Hey Leafs fans: come and see real hockey at the Dukedome,’ says Frump. “But then we thought, no, we’d better be careful to avoid stereotyping Toronto folks. Just like I’m sure we’d want them to avoid stereotyping us.”

And if everyone listened to that advice, we’d be the better for it. Although a few writers I can think of, including this one, might have to work a little harder.

dsimmonds@wellingtontimes.ca