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Wait! What? January
It’s a New Year! It’s either the end of a decade or the beginning of a decade. It’s time for a list of resolutions. Today, LOML and I will put Christmas away and one of us will down a few resolutions. She’ll probably kick those resolutions to the curb before Valentine’s Day. But, it’s January. January is like Monday. In January we promise to dump-the-plump, drink more water, actually walk to get the footsteps on our FitBit (instead of just swinging our arms while we watch Family Feud). January is the month we Marie Kondo our closets and drawers, again. In our January- mind we get rid the crocheted vest from 1978 because, honestly, it wasn’t stylin’ then and it ain’t never going to be on-point, even though Aunt Jean made it for you. Yep, like Mondays, Januaries make a person hopeful for personal change. And, lucky for me, this January 1st didn’t fall on a Monday. I couldn’t handle Monday and New Year’s good intentions on the same day. By the first weekend in any January, I’m usually back to my dirty ways of yore. I say, “Resolutions made with a glass of bubbly in your hand, don’t count at all.”
Truly, why the H E double pinky-swearpromises do we torment ourselves with such a huge personal responsibility as making resolutions? Isn’t just getting through a normal day, these days, hard enough? You only have to tune into any news source and, right away, you’re wondering if you should just go ahead and eat the pie à la mode and chase it down with a handful of potato chips because we’re all going to hell-in-a-firefight. We live in stressful and depressing times. As far as resolutions are concerned, over the years I’ve done them all. I’ve resolved to lose weight, get fit, be nice, not swear, not gossip (like a resolution could stop me), to be a good friend and never, ever drive over the speed limit.
Well, I’ve lost weight, lots of it, but sometimes a little bit of pudge comes back to spend quality time with me—especially if I’m watching network world news. I’ve been fitter (like when I was about seventeen) but I’m aiming for fit and strong in 2020, so stay out of my way. And, I’m nice! Oh, yes I freaking am! But maybe I could be nicer. This past week I’ve tried to ratchet the swearing back, but someone made the mistake of telling me really intelligent people swear a lot. I might have to take that resolution off the list, I don’t want people to think I’m “freak-arse” stupid. As far as driving goes, I hardly ever drive the Rollscan- hardly these days. If I get a speeding ticket while riding my bicycle, I am seriously going to brag about it. Maybe I should put “no bragging” on the list instead of the speed limit thingy.
I’ve said this before and, now that it’s 2020, I’ll say it again, “Why can’t the New Year just be The New Year” like the brand new scribbler the teacher gave us when we were in Grade Four. Clean, empty pages for beautiful penmanship, neatly strokedthrough mistakes, ah ha! moments, life lessons, prosey-promises, works-of-art, scribbles, computations, lists or, perhaps, nothing at all. No promises, only promise.
Why make once-a-year decisions on New Year’s Day when Monday’s fresh start is always just seven days away?
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