Columnists
Where’s the snack bag?
I remember when I was in Grade Four thinking “When I’m fifty years old I’ll be really, really old.” Well that ship sailed a long time ago. I’m way, way past fifty now. Heck I’ve got a kid who has been around longer than fifty years. In my mind he’s still a baby giving me a run for my Baby Bonus Cheque Money. Oh, there were days when LOML and I were young, broke parents and I wished for a more speedy passage of time. Here I am. Wish granted. I laughingly tell myself, “Theresa, if you don’t look into the mirror too closely you won’t think about how old you are.” Somedays it works, somedays I actually laugh out loud because there’s an old gal staring back at me. The same old gal, who is now worried about how to get up from a slip ’n’ fall than the actual slip ’n’ fall. Yep, I now have added “getting up off the floor” to my workout routine. It’s a bit of surprise for someone who was always pretty agile. I was the kid who did backflips across the gym floor, ran track, played field hockey and skateboarded before it was popular. These days, though, once I’m down to the bare tile I kinda wish I’d hidden zip-locked snacks, around the house at baseboard level. I’m not talking about healthy snacks, either. I’m talking about the good stuff. I’ve paid my dues. I know what I’m worth. I could probably live out my days snacking on the living room floor waiting for my twisted toes to heal if I’m careful about snack placements.
The truth of the matter is, I’m not actually joking about learning how to get up when I’m down. And, for the record, I’m speaking about getting up when I’m physically down. I’ve been practising a bit, here and there. It’s an ugly sight, and probably pretty laughable but I’ll have it sorted sooner or later. Speaking of being down, I’m working on eliminating all of the trip and fall hazards from my house and teaching myself to be aware when I’m out-and-about. Our whole world is full of opportunities to do a face-plant someplace. Living in Prince Edward County, like a lot of small Ontario communities, means the sidewalks are going to be a bit of a challenge, especially on snowy or rainy days. For the most part, our sidewalks are not terrible, but there are lots of places where transitions are not smooth. Being older is a good time to start paying attention while heading out to the Post Office or the cafe or the booze-a-teria. There are statistics about being down and the statistics tell us, “Falls remain the leading cause of injury-related hospitalizations among Canadian seniors, and between 20 per cent and 30 per cent of seniors fall each year.” The risk of a fall in old folks, like you and I, isn’t a new phenomenon. And, apparently, more women in the sixty-five and older age group sustained injuries. More than half of the falls occur at home—where you should be thinking where to place those snacks if you can’t be bothered clearing the way. By “clearing the way” I’m suggesting you get rid of those cute little scatter mats that don’t have slip-resistant backing. If you’re a hoarding type, clearup your halls, stairs, corridors and generally make sure your floors are just floors. Stack your stuff on tables and bookshelves, perhaps stuff all of it into that cubbyhole under the stairs or, just put things away where they belong. I can’t tell you how many times in the past LOML and I have sworn and cussed while we’re taking our winter boots off and stumbled on the array of slippers and shoes decorating our front hall. The front hallway is where we started to clear the decks!
Basically, start with getting rid of the clutter on the floors. Wear nonslip shoes or slippers or go barefoot. Store frequently used items more conveniently, more easily accessible. If you struggle with vision or balance issues ain’t no sense in using a kitchen chair or a step stool to get the wine glasses off the tippytop shelf. Improve the lighting in all of your spaces. Let’s not try to save a dime on the watts then break a hip in the process. Install handrails on stairways, inside and outside. Don’t store things on steps. Clean up splashes and spills, quickly. Take your time, no need to rush to get the phone or answer the door. I figure if I miss a call, and it was important, the caller will leave a message. If I don’t get to the door before the knocker takes off, “pish-posh” as my dad would have said.
Take time to take care. You deserve it. Don’t forget the snacks.
Comments (0)