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WTF, WTH and Geez
Let’s start this column, again. I’m having a moment. Perhaps it’s a senior’s moment.
Well, let the seasons change. March Break 2023 is in the books. March Break is something LOML and I don’t miss. March Break, it meant I had to book my time-off moments after the previous March Break ended to ensure that all of us were on the same page, or at least on the same break. If you had designs on travelling to some warmer clime, that too had to be booked the moment the previous break was finished. Today, I’ll bet, in spite of going back to the grind, most parents and caregivers poured themselves a cup of coffee and breathed a sigh of relief as the kiddies headed back to class. Back to normal. Ahhhh.
My new normal is dealing with being more than seventy years old. I’m in pretty good shape for an old gal, but things are starting to break down. First it was cholesterol levels. It didn’t seem to matter that I am a plant-strong eater and have a fairly active lifestyle. My bad cholesterol level began to rise. Apparently there isn’t a prize for having high cholesterol unless taking a statin drug is the prize. I have to admit, my Primary Care Physician was very patient with me on this point. She first suggested I get even more strict with my food, and I did. Apparently the bad cholesterol wasn’t in the mood to be trifled with and it stubbornly held in the Red Zone. Dang. The Doctor knew best and handed me my prescription. I already have a prescription to deal with hypertension. For me, hypertension is a symptom of the freaking tumour in my head, and while it doesn’t really have much to do with my age it doesn’t get any better as I age. So, here I am. Bad cholesterol and hypertension. My new, “old gal” normal. The thing is, the more I read about ageing the more I understand how important it is to be physically active and avoid all of the bad stuff or, at least, partake of the bad stuff in moderation. The “bad stuff” being all of the things I love. I’m a big fan of a glass of wine, a cup of coffee, an entire bag of Lays Potato Chips™, not to mention pie (or anything wrapped in pastry), French fries from the chip truck and burgers. See you later yummy goodness. Now you are a rare treat. Thank you Dr. A, for keeping me healthy.
And, as if my new normal list wasn’t long enough, I’ve just signed on the dotted line to have a cataract removed. One more item on the list! Wednesday Thursday Friday (that’s code for WTF if you don’t know me, and most of you don’t). A freaking cataract. Where the H E double vision did a cataract come from? Yeah, yeah, I’ve done my homework on cataracts. I know how they happen. I just thought I’d be one of the eight per cent who don’t develop a cataract. Apparently, the numbers weren’t working in my favour in that regard. I am one of the 92 per cent of people over the age of 65 who develop cataracts. YAY! If that’s not normal I don’t know what it really is. I’m scarily looking forward to having clearer vision—and a bit freaked out by the process. Cataracts sneak up on a person. Couple the sneakiness with a big case of denial and I’ve got a lens implant in my future. I suppose it really hasn’t been foggy and hazy for the last three years. Is there good news?
The good news is I’m not in pain, I still go to the gym three or four times a week, I still enjoy a glass of wine, no one took my coffee away and a piece of pie isn’t going to do me in. However, the Lays™ Potato Chips will always be a great big problem and sometimes an apple (especially if it’s in a pie) makes it all better. I’ll take my age just the way it happens. I just wish it wasn’t so sneaky.
You can’t please everyone.
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