Columnists
Nice or Kind, or Kinda Nice
I can’t think of a time when I’ve been more confused, offended, offensive, defensive and apprehensive. Well, I can think of one time, but that’s another story. All of the “-ives” and “-eds”. I no longer trust myself to make decisions without second guessing my choices. I’m not talking about making a fuss over the produce I want to bring home. Well, maybe produce is part of my fuss. Like many of you, I’m trying to avoid picking up anything which has been grown in the good ole U.S. of A. There was a day when I would have squeezed the Canadian tomatoes and left the others behind if the price was close. Now, it’s no contest. I reach for the Canadian produce first, then anything from just about anyplace else except from our nearest neighbour. Maybe it isn’t much of a boycott, but it’s the best I can do in the greens department. Decisions, decisions.
Like I said, my decision making isn’t just about the roughage and fibre. As you know, I’ve talked a lot, recently, about how I’ve tried to be more careful about the words I use. Goodness knows I have tried to be word-wise. I’ve tried to be a kinder person in a world that seems to be getting a little bit more ragged around the edges. It rubs off on a person, I think. Like me, a lot of people I know are trying a little bit harder in this department. Many of us, though, are feeling beat up and disillusioned. We’re trying to be nicer, to be more open-hearted and to be more open-minded. It’s not easy when we’re being inundated with news stories of hatred, self-importance, senseless violence, intolerance and ignorance. After a while, we start to wonder if it’s a waste of time, this being nicer and kinder thing. Maybe the scenarios we see on television or hear on the news or read in media output, are right. Maybe it’s time to be more aggressive and meaner and more self-centred. Maybe we should put “me” first at all costs. Has the time come to stop being a good person because “the nice or the kind” doesn’t always come back to us? A rethink could be needed here. Why we should be nicer, kinder, less intolerant, more generous and such when it feels like we’re alone in our quest to change the world. As far as I’m concerned, I probably shouldn’t be looking for a payback. I’ve heard oodles of people say, “I give and give and I get nothing in return.” Are we just looking for a payback?
As I write this, I wonder if I’m being overly sensitive or if I’m back to being insensitive with a soupçon of nice, and it feels normal. I struggle with the difference between being nice and being kind. When I think about it, being one or the other is very different. I know I often act like I’m a nice person, and I’m not always a kind person. The distinction is hugely important, and I’ve given it a lot of thought this weekend. I’m going to start focusing on what motivates me to be kind and what motivates me to be nice. I know I’m just being “nice” if I’m looking for a reward, approval or validation. I know I’m being kind when I do what I feel is the right thing to do, regardless of what others might think. When I’m just being nice, I don’t feel real. When I’m being kind, I feel genuine and I don’t need to pretend to be someone I’m not. Whew. Come on world, help me out a bit here. I don’t want to hide away and pretend it’s all good.
If I’ve got the choice, I’ll try to pick being kind.
Comments (0)